Thursday, February 23, 2017

Keeping Father Dan's Memory Alive

So, yesterday was a sad but beautiful day. I had never seen the Church so full in my life. It was an incredible sight to see. I'd guess at least 800 people packed the space, not counting people who stood outside the doors to listen. Not just the number but the variety of people. Father Dan had been a part of several parishes over his years of ministry. Black, white, Asian, Middle Eastern, the very old to the very young. Priests, bishops, deacons, sisters. People who had grown up listening to Father preach on Sundays. People who had worked with him. People who had grown up with him. We gathered together to mourn his loss. But, more importantly, we gathered to celebrate a man who touched so many in so many ways. This was reflected in the music sang and the words spoken. Even after Mass, we gathered for lunch and shared more stories.

I didn't want to go up to the casket because I didn't want that image in my memory. I wanted to remember the man who always smiled and pulled you into a big hug when he saw you, even first meeting you. The man who's eyes lit up at the Christmas party when he played carols on his flute with the band. The man who talked and laughed at my sister's wedding and was bouncing with joy that he was able to make it and talked about it for months afterward.

But, it wasn't without issue. I won't go into specific but there were stories that were not so positive. And, it just made my family so upset. I know Father Dan wouldn't want people to act the way they did. It's not what he stood for. It's not the message he tried to convey and the fact that people never took that in is a disgrace to his memory.

Now, more than ever, is the time for the two communities he served most recently to come together. As one spirit, one mission to bring the love of Christ to the world. Not to turn people away. I said in my last post, Father accepted everyone. And, the people that gathered to honor him yesterday reflected that.

I know my dad and others will work to keep his memory alive there. And, I can only hope to follow his example in my own life. Only then will he be remembered always in the hearts of those who knew him.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

"There's One More Angel In Heaven"

I don't know why I chose a lyric from Joseph's Technicolor Dreamcoat but I'm have a feeling he'd get a kick out of it because he had that kind of sense of humor.

I can't sleep. And, the best way for me to clear my head is to write. What better topic to write about than remembering a wonderful man, priest, and friend. Father Dan Begin. He was the pastor at my dad's church and I had the pleasure of getting to know him these past 2 years since my dad joined him as deacon. Never have I known anyone like him. And, I doubt I'll ever meet anyone that comes close in my life.

Father Dan was truly the embodiment of Christian faith and love. He always had a smile on his face and a waiting hug. He loved to laugh. He loved music. He loved family, enough to adopt children and raise them as his own and the grandchildren that followed. He loved his parishioners at the various churches he served in. And, he loved God. He had a tremendous faith that we can only dream to emulate. Even when he was ill, he talked about leaving it in God's hands and whatever happened would happen. He cherished every day he was remotely well. When he was able to attend my sister's wedding in October, he was practically giddy with excitement. The power of prayer bought him a few precious months before illness returned to finally claim his life on Saturday.

He welcomed everyone, regardless of background, race, orientation. You just felt good when you were around him. He'd tease and crack jokes at events. When he said Mass, there was a glow about him. When he played the flute or talked about his family, his eyes would light up and you couldn't help smile along with him.

I wish I had been able to know him better. But, I know he's at peace now. He's not suffering anymore.

I know that's a cliché thing to say. It's what everyone says when someone dies. Especially from illness like cancer. But, I've had a few family members with cancer. It's like they're being eaten alive from the inside out. Watching a loved one waste away is one of the hardest things in the world. And, as much as you want them to get better and be with you for many more years, you want just as much for it to stop and for them to know peace and be free of pain.

It could be that it's late and I'm sleepy. Or, it's that there really are no words to describe Father Dan beyond what I've already said. He will be missed so much and by so many. And, he will never be forgotten.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Lost Art of Civil Conversation

Okay, I know I made a promise not to post anything political on my public platforms. And, I intend to keep my promise. But, I have to vent. It's late so this may turn into a series of tangents with a point at the end. And, this isn't just about politics. It's about human behavior in general. There is a dying skill in this world. People are losing the ability to have civil conversations/debates about differences in belief. And, there's a strong urge to force the "I'm right, you're wrong" down the throat of whoever you're talking to by any means necessary. To the point that families are divided. Marriages and friendships are ending. What happened to giving your points, listening to the other, and then agreeing to disagree?

One of my closest friends just wrote an article for the Washington Examiner about all the recent boycotts. He is a diehard conservative Republican. While I am a liberal leaning Independent. We differ on a lot of views. But, we've been friends since we were 10 and not about to throw away a 20+ year friendship because we stand on "opposite sides of the aisle" so to speak. One thing we could agree on was how ridiculous the reaction to these boycotts are. Take the highly publicized Nordstrom boycott. Nordstrom announced that they are no longer carrying Ivanka Trump's brand in their stores due to lack of sales. But, people (including 45 himself) are enraged! Now, if Mr. Trump were as great a business man as he claimed, he would understand this and not take it personally. Why continue to stock something that doesn't sell? It's a loss on the business's part, especially in the price range of the items Nordstrom carries. (Far outside my budget, let me tell you.) But, it's common sense supply and demand. If the demand's not there, why take a financial hit with the supply? I see it all the time at my day job. A product doesn't sell, corporate says it has to go. Maybe they'll bring it back. Maybe they'll renegotiate and carry only a small portion of her line. That remains to be seen.

Another I keep seeing things about is the Starbucks debate. Starbucks announced that they will hire refugees that come to this country. Of course, people were up in arms about it. I saw a few of my own friends argue "why aren't they hiring veterans? What about our own people?" When, if you do some research, the coffee chain actually has a massive hiring program for vets. And, in terms of refugees, they said they'd begin by hiring those who worked as translators for our military.

I'm afraid to say something at work for fear of someone going off on me. I get that enough without bringing politics into it. When someone tries to goad me into a debate/discussion, I smile and say I have no political views on the clock, and keep working. Same with friends who share political differences. Smile and nod and change the subject. Partly because I don't want to debate. Partly because I am no expert and would probably lose by not having a comeback. I can't even share something on Facebook without friends launching into longwinded arguments. I don't even want to share a meme meant to be a joke because someone will take it the wrong way. And that's been going on for years. But, that may be another rant someday.

The protest at UC Berkley- the speaker, a self proclaimed sh*t starter, was scheduled to speak. So, students came to protest. It started out peaceful until a group began shooting and throwing things and it turned insane. That was uncalled for. I don't agree with that that person talks about, but he had a right to be there. Just like those protesters did, provided it remained peaceful. Violence doesn't get us anywhere.

I just don't see why things have to be so polarizing nowadays. It's not getting us anywhere. If anything, it's further making things worse. I've accepted the fact that Donald Trump is President. I don't like it. I don't like him. I think he's a horrid excuse for a human. But, there's nothing I can do about it. I will be among the voices who speak out when he does something I disagree with and I think will harm this country. I won't do it on my author platform (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr) with the exception of this blog post. If need be, I'll create a separate blog to share only on my personal Facebook page. I will do my best to live my life and be kind to others. I will be more informed and politely discuss the issues of today with others if I please. And, I will hope that this brutal divisiveness ends. We've had major views split this country several times in its history and we've come through each time. But, we never seem to learn. Or, we do for a while and quickly forget. What lesson is that for future generations? Having different views and beliefs is what makes the US the beautiful melting pot that it is. Why tarnish that now? If something's wrong, by all means speak out. But, you don't have to be violent about it. Discuss, debate (peacefully), and here's an idea. Compromise! Make things work so it's better for all.

Call me naïve. But, I'm still going to hold out a small bit of hope for the people in this country and the rest of the world. For the sake of future generations. If we ruin it now, what hope do they have?