So, yesterday was a sad but beautiful day. I had never seen the Church so full in my life. It was an incredible sight to see. I'd guess at least 800 people packed the space, not counting people who stood outside the doors to listen. Not just the number but the variety of people. Father Dan had been a part of several parishes over his years of ministry. Black, white, Asian, Middle Eastern, the very old to the very young. Priests, bishops, deacons, sisters. People who had grown up listening to Father preach on Sundays. People who had worked with him. People who had grown up with him. We gathered together to mourn his loss. But, more importantly, we gathered to celebrate a man who touched so many in so many ways. This was reflected in the music sang and the words spoken. Even after Mass, we gathered for lunch and shared more stories.
I didn't want to go up to the casket because I didn't want that image in my memory. I wanted to remember the man who always smiled and pulled you into a big hug when he saw you, even first meeting you. The man who's eyes lit up at the Christmas party when he played carols on his flute with the band. The man who talked and laughed at my sister's wedding and was bouncing with joy that he was able to make it and talked about it for months afterward.
But, it wasn't without issue. I won't go into specific but there were stories that were not so positive. And, it just made my family so upset. I know Father Dan wouldn't want people to act the way they did. It's not what he stood for. It's not the message he tried to convey and the fact that people never took that in is a disgrace to his memory.
Now, more than ever, is the time for the two communities he served most recently to come together. As one spirit, one mission to bring the love of Christ to the world. Not to turn people away. I said in my last post, Father accepted everyone. And, the people that gathered to honor him yesterday reflected that.
I know my dad and others will work to keep his memory alive there. And, I can only hope to follow his example in my own life. Only then will he be remembered always in the hearts of those who knew him.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Sunday, February 19, 2017
"There's One More Angel In Heaven"
I don't know why I chose a lyric from Joseph's Technicolor Dreamcoat but I'm have a feeling he'd get a kick out of it because he had that kind of sense of humor.
I can't sleep. And, the best way for me to clear my head is to write. What better topic to write about than remembering a wonderful man, priest, and friend. Father Dan Begin. He was the pastor at my dad's church and I had the pleasure of getting to know him these past 2 years since my dad joined him as deacon. Never have I known anyone like him. And, I doubt I'll ever meet anyone that comes close in my life.
Father Dan was truly the embodiment of Christian faith and love. He always had a smile on his face and a waiting hug. He loved to laugh. He loved music. He loved family, enough to adopt children and raise them as his own and the grandchildren that followed. He loved his parishioners at the various churches he served in. And, he loved God. He had a tremendous faith that we can only dream to emulate. Even when he was ill, he talked about leaving it in God's hands and whatever happened would happen. He cherished every day he was remotely well. When he was able to attend my sister's wedding in October, he was practically giddy with excitement. The power of prayer bought him a few precious months before illness returned to finally claim his life on Saturday.
He welcomed everyone, regardless of background, race, orientation. You just felt good when you were around him. He'd tease and crack jokes at events. When he said Mass, there was a glow about him. When he played the flute or talked about his family, his eyes would light up and you couldn't help smile along with him.
I wish I had been able to know him better. But, I know he's at peace now. He's not suffering anymore.
I know that's a cliché thing to say. It's what everyone says when someone dies. Especially from illness like cancer. But, I've had a few family members with cancer. It's like they're being eaten alive from the inside out. Watching a loved one waste away is one of the hardest things in the world. And, as much as you want them to get better and be with you for many more years, you want just as much for it to stop and for them to know peace and be free of pain.
It could be that it's late and I'm sleepy. Or, it's that there really are no words to describe Father Dan beyond what I've already said. He will be missed so much and by so many. And, he will never be forgotten.
I can't sleep. And, the best way for me to clear my head is to write. What better topic to write about than remembering a wonderful man, priest, and friend. Father Dan Begin. He was the pastor at my dad's church and I had the pleasure of getting to know him these past 2 years since my dad joined him as deacon. Never have I known anyone like him. And, I doubt I'll ever meet anyone that comes close in my life.
Father Dan was truly the embodiment of Christian faith and love. He always had a smile on his face and a waiting hug. He loved to laugh. He loved music. He loved family, enough to adopt children and raise them as his own and the grandchildren that followed. He loved his parishioners at the various churches he served in. And, he loved God. He had a tremendous faith that we can only dream to emulate. Even when he was ill, he talked about leaving it in God's hands and whatever happened would happen. He cherished every day he was remotely well. When he was able to attend my sister's wedding in October, he was practically giddy with excitement. The power of prayer bought him a few precious months before illness returned to finally claim his life on Saturday.
He welcomed everyone, regardless of background, race, orientation. You just felt good when you were around him. He'd tease and crack jokes at events. When he said Mass, there was a glow about him. When he played the flute or talked about his family, his eyes would light up and you couldn't help smile along with him.
I wish I had been able to know him better. But, I know he's at peace now. He's not suffering anymore.
I know that's a cliché thing to say. It's what everyone says when someone dies. Especially from illness like cancer. But, I've had a few family members with cancer. It's like they're being eaten alive from the inside out. Watching a loved one waste away is one of the hardest things in the world. And, as much as you want them to get better and be with you for many more years, you want just as much for it to stop and for them to know peace and be free of pain.
It could be that it's late and I'm sleepy. Or, it's that there really are no words to describe Father Dan beyond what I've already said. He will be missed so much and by so many. And, he will never be forgotten.
Monday, May 9, 2016
I'm Getting Married!!
During dinner, amid the talking and laughing and good food, my birthday came up. Joe said, "I have an early present for you. Close your eyes." I did. Thinking he would do something snarky because we had just been teasing each other not 10 seconds before. I waited for a minute and then he told me to open my eyes.
What I saw took my breath away! Before me was a beautiful ring. I had seen it before. It was his grandmother's anniversary ring. I couldn't breathe for a whole minute. My eyes welled with tears as he said, "Carey Ann Catherine, will you marry me?"
Well, duh! YES! He put the ring on my finger and then came around the table to give me a hug and kiss. I tried so hard not to cry. Robin was bouncing in her seat and she hugged me. "Now you have to come over so we can start planning!" Well, let me get over the shock, first!
We've been talking for a few months now about getting married. We even have a date in mind. So, this weekend, we have to talk to our pastor about picking a date and then call the caterer so we have it locked down.
I have to print off a few things today for my binder. I've already been doing that but never hurts to be over prepared.
Of course, I will be documenting this journey through my blog and my YouTube videos. At this moment, I'm getting my list together for my special treat for my side of the bridal party. They'll be thrilled, I'm sure. Tricky part will be sending one across the country. :-) I think I can manage, though.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Severely need to vent (language warning)
In the midst of various headlines circulating in the local and national media outlets, I need to vent. It's come to the point where I can't watch the news or even scroll my Twitter or Facebook feed without seeing something that makes me want to smash my laptop in a Hulk-like rage.
One that had me screaming was the settlement in a highly publicized local case. A boy was killed by officers after he was seen waving around a realistic looking toy gun. The mother went on a rampage. Blaming the police. Now, don't misunderstand me. My heart goes out to any mother who has to bury her son, especially from a violent act. My uncle was a victim of gun violence. My dad had to fly to California and bring his body home just 2 short months after my grandfather passed. My grandmother had to bury her husband and son within weeks of each other. And, I do not pretend to know the details of this boy's home life. But, something seems amiss to me when he should know better than to be in a public space waving a gun around, toy or not. I know Ohio has conceal-carry laws. But, the key word there is CONCEAL! Don't go to a park and wave it around, frightening people so they call the police! Where was the mom then? Now, she gets $6 million because she couldn't teach her kid common sense? And, she made it sound like the police had it in for her kid. Like, people join the police to earn a free license to kill. My father was a police officer and had a number of friends on the force in various city departments. I know this is not the case. They wouldn't have made it into the academy if they believed this to be true.
Another story I saw Monday involved a boy of similar age (about 13 or so) involved in a series of robberies and car jackings. A photo of the boy pointing a gun was posted on social media!! The reporter interviewed the father and he was absolutely clueless. He couldn't even tell the reporter what grade his son was in! Acted like it wasn't his business to know what his son did. What kind of parent does that? And, why have kids if you're not going to teach and take care of them?
Now, before I get bombarded by trolls calling me racist, allow me to clarify. I'm not bringing this up because of race. I didn't even mention that when I talked about these situations. It's not a racial thing. It's about an all around disregard for values, morals, and accountability for one's actions. I work in retail. I see a few hundred people a day. It's everywhere. Black, white, yellow, purple, blue. Tall, short, fat, thin. And all religions and cultures. People let their kids run wild in the store. Then, when they get hurt or they hurt someone else or get caught stuffing candy in their pockets, it's "Oh... oops." or "Quit picking on my baby!" The other end of the spectrum is the ridiculously over-protective parents contributing to the increasing number of 20 year old babies. But, that's a rant for another day.
Maybe it's because I come from a very involved and close-knit family. Former friends would even tease and say my parents fell under that crazy over-protective category. But, I don't see it that way. And, besides, it worked! My sister and I never got into trouble with the law or in school. With the exception of my one and only fight in grade school that was self defense. We had rules instilled in us and we learned the value of sticking to a commitment and living a good life. And, most of all, that actions have consequences you have to face when you fuck up.
I'll go back to the fight I had in school. I hit a kid with my purse last period of the day. He had several classes with me and had been harassing me all day long. He pushed me to the ground and I retaliated. The principal wouldn't give me the time of day, but believed his crazy story about how I was a complete bitch and had it in for him from day 1. I went home crying, because we were both punished with in-school suspension. (Sit in an old art room... together... all day long doing your classwork. Worst. Day. Of. My. Life... at that point) My dad called the school. Even though I was not at fault, I still broke the rules by hitting the little jerk. And, so, served my punishment. It sucked. My 14 year old brain thought it wasn't fair and I wanted to call in sick. But, it taught me a lesson.
Again, actions have consequences. Don't study for an exam? You're probably going to flunk. Spill coffee from McDonalds all over your lap? Guess what! That shit's HOT. It says so, like 50 million times on the cup. You're going to get burned. Antagonize the dog next door? Yeah, you get no sympathy from me when he bites your hand. And, the list goes on.
I mentioned to my best friend that I was working on this post and, referring to the first news story I mentioned, I brought up my opinion on gun control. No, it is not a crime to own a gun, nor should it be. It's one of our Constitutional rights (if you live in the U.S. I know I have a few international readers out there) and I get that. BUT necessary checks and balances need to be in place, along with proper education, to ensure a) some crazy nut job doesn't decide he wants to shoot up a movie theater, b) some poor kid who feels he has no other way can't shoot up his school to stop the bullies from making his life a living hell, c) a little child can't get hold of it, thinking it's a toy and end up shooting, if not themselves, someone else. But, oh. Wait, that would fall under actually being a parent and teaching your children right from wrong. Rather than blaming the world when they end up in jail or, worse, dead. My friend owns guns. They frequent their local range. They bought a BB gun for their 7 and 9 year old kids to use only at the range, under supervision of mom and dad, and locked in a fingerprint safe. And, emphasizing these things are not toys. Even BB guns can be deadly if mishandled. We all laugh at Ralphie from Christmas Story and his "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." But, if you recall, he almost did shoot his eye out. My friend repeats this lesson over and over and will continue as her children grow up. That's taking proper responsibility.
Another thing we talked about, on this topic of guns, was school shootings. Perhaps we come from a naïve age when we were kids. Perhaps they're covered more because of the constant media saturation we get from... everywhere. But, we never heard of school shooting before Columbine. (9th grade for me) And now, sadly, they're so common place. And, what is one thing they say about many of the shooters? They were bullied in school. Now, I have shared my story numerous time about how I was bullied in school. 6th grade, coming home in tears nearly every day because kids called me "fat," "stupid," "useless," "bitch," and I'm sure there were more names long forgotten. 8th grade, I already mentioned the little creep that pushed me so far I slapped him. High school, I was the slow kid in gym class. My grades were a C average if I studied all night and prayed my heart out. I was the quiet one, so that made me a target. Rumors were spread about my best friend and I being "more than friends," if you get my drift. But, not once did I consider getting a gun and shooting up my school. Why? Because I could talk to my parents. They may have been a tad over protective but that's how parents are supposed to be. Hands on, caring about their children. Making sure they grow to have good values and become productive members of society. If you can't do that, don't have any freaking kids! You'll only be doing more harm to them and then scratching your heads wondering what went wrong.
There is the other extreme I'll touch on quickly. The parents who smother. Now, my parents were protective, but they still let my sister and I live our lives. We made mistakes. We mishandled our money. (Or, at least I did) We had those bad relationships and heartbreaks. But, you need those lessons in life. You can't have Mom and Dad hovering over you night and day because you won't figure out how to be a grown-up. Something even most adults haven't figured out yet but it's a process and different experiences for everyone. Mom and Dad, sadly, won't be around forever. You have to take charge of your life.
And, yes, that involves the tough lesson that so many kids have to learn. People can be cruel. You're going to get picked on. People are going to torment you and try to make your lives a living hell for shits and giggles. But, that means there's something wrong with them! I was trying to tell my friend's daughter this a few months back when she was telling me about a boy in school calling her ugly. "He's ignorant and blind because you are a lovely little girl." She shrugged and gave the usual reply I gave my mom so many times. "You're just saying that." "No, I'm not," I said. "I always feel that people who get joy out of making others miserable are miserable themselves. And, the way they make themselves feel superior is bringing others down instead of trying to raise themselves up. If he can't see what a great person you are, it's his loss because he could be missing out on a great friend if he just took the time to get to know you."
Which leads to another thing I need to grumble about. I'm a tolerant person. I enjoy learning about different religions and cultures. History has always interested me, the good, the bad, and the boring. And, it takes a lot to piss me off. The fact that I'm writing this is an example of the fact that I need to get things off my mind because I'm getting very close to voicing my opinions. And, with my luck, I'll say it to the wrong person who will take it the wrong way and I'll be in trouble. Probably at work. There is a certain public figure on the political scene in this country that makes me so mad. Remember I mentioned a Hulk-like rage? Yeah, he's reason number 1 I can't watch the news anymore. His blatant, ignorant, racist, sexist blabbering scares the daylights out of me! And, I pray I'm not alone. I hope to God above he does not win the election, or even the nomination he's seeking, because we're all in deep shit and I'll be packing my bags for Australia. He is demeaning to... well, anyone who is not a rich white man with bad hair. He doesn't care about family. He's quote in a 2005 interview (Buzzfeed article here and, yes, if you haven't figured it out, you'll know who I'm talking about. I am on my boyfriend's laptop and I don't think he'd appreciate me destroying it in a fit of temper because this man fills me with so much anger) saying in part, "I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids." He wouldn't even push the baby in the stroller on a simple walk down the street! What kind of parent does that? How is that an example for his children? Especially his sons.
Now, let me give you a situation here. I'll make up a normal(ish) American family. Dad works and is one of the minority who can be a solo provider for his family for whatever reason so Mom stays home, tends house, and takes care of the kids. Seems okay, right? Let's not forget. Being a stay-home mom is a tough, highly underappreciated job. It's not like the "Real Housewives of ---" where an army of nannies take care of the kids while Mommy attends cocktail parties and watches soaps all day. No, when Dad's not home, she's doing mountains of laundry, dishes, just anything to just make the house somewhat presentable should a guest decide to drop by. Siblings fight. I know my sister and I did. My boyfriend and his brother have stories. So, as a parent, you're breaking up those fights and dishing out punishments. There are also the joys of parents. First steps, hearing "Mama" or "Daddy" for the first time. You know what gave me the "I want kids" bug? My friend's daughter was spending the weekend with me. We were in church and she threw her arms around me and gave me the most adoring smile in the world. I thought, "My God. I want to see that look coming from my own kids. That's the best feeling in the world." But, I digress. Back to my scenario here. So, the family is busy. Dad's working and helping Mom run the kids to Scouts, dance, baseball, football, visiting relatives, all that stuff that happens in life with kids. Suddenly, Mom isn't feeling well. She becomes ill. Or, she injures herself. She has to stay in bed for days/weeks on end! Can't afford a nanny with medical expenses piling up. Grandma or Aunt Lucy come help when they can but it's not a 24/7 deal. Guess what? Dad suddenly has to step up. It may mean changing his hours at work or working from home sometimes. Canceling that business trip. And, yes, he'll have to cook/do laundry/yard work/and all that other stuff Mom was doing but can't.
But, according to... yeah, you figured it out already so I'm still not typing his name... "That's not my thing." Self-centered creep. My dad does most of the cooking. Does that mean he's "acting like a wife," too? No, I think it means he's helping his wife who has to go to work as early as 3 a.m. and is so exhausted she fall asleep as soon as her rear hits the sofa. You know, if all men thought like you, I shudder to think what our world would be like. I'm pretty sure my mom wouldn't have married my dad. Then, my sister and I wouldn't be here and we wouldn't be at the place we are in our lives without hands on parents. Even now, at nearly 32, I know I can call my parents when I need to. Just before Christmas, I called my mom sobbing because my car wouldn't start after work and I was terrified it was something major. She calmed me down, she and Dad drove to my job, they looked it over, and said it was just the battery. Then, they helped me jump it and get it to the shop. If they weren't protective of us, I probably would have died 2 years ago from the blood clot in my leg because I was putting off seeing the doctor. But, my mom woke me up saying, "I called you off work. Make a doctor appointment now or we're just going to the E.R." Hands off dads wouldn't meet their daughters for dinners once a week just to talk and catch up on life amid busy schedules. Hands off dads would probably never notice when their daughters came home crying after their first big heartbreak and feeling like the world shattered around them like a dropped snow globe.
I could go on. But, my brain is fried and I need to be up early myself to work on my other writing projects before Day Job resumes once more. Looking forward to a long, quiet weekend and, hopefully, continued nice weather.
I hope my rants and ramblings sparked some thought, if not conversation. I'd love to talk/civilly debate. And, thanks for reading if you made it to the end.
Good night,
Carey
One that had me screaming was the settlement in a highly publicized local case. A boy was killed by officers after he was seen waving around a realistic looking toy gun. The mother went on a rampage. Blaming the police. Now, don't misunderstand me. My heart goes out to any mother who has to bury her son, especially from a violent act. My uncle was a victim of gun violence. My dad had to fly to California and bring his body home just 2 short months after my grandfather passed. My grandmother had to bury her husband and son within weeks of each other. And, I do not pretend to know the details of this boy's home life. But, something seems amiss to me when he should know better than to be in a public space waving a gun around, toy or not. I know Ohio has conceal-carry laws. But, the key word there is CONCEAL! Don't go to a park and wave it around, frightening people so they call the police! Where was the mom then? Now, she gets $6 million because she couldn't teach her kid common sense? And, she made it sound like the police had it in for her kid. Like, people join the police to earn a free license to kill. My father was a police officer and had a number of friends on the force in various city departments. I know this is not the case. They wouldn't have made it into the academy if they believed this to be true.
Another story I saw Monday involved a boy of similar age (about 13 or so) involved in a series of robberies and car jackings. A photo of the boy pointing a gun was posted on social media!! The reporter interviewed the father and he was absolutely clueless. He couldn't even tell the reporter what grade his son was in! Acted like it wasn't his business to know what his son did. What kind of parent does that? And, why have kids if you're not going to teach and take care of them?
Now, before I get bombarded by trolls calling me racist, allow me to clarify. I'm not bringing this up because of race. I didn't even mention that when I talked about these situations. It's not a racial thing. It's about an all around disregard for values, morals, and accountability for one's actions. I work in retail. I see a few hundred people a day. It's everywhere. Black, white, yellow, purple, blue. Tall, short, fat, thin. And all religions and cultures. People let their kids run wild in the store. Then, when they get hurt or they hurt someone else or get caught stuffing candy in their pockets, it's "Oh... oops." or "Quit picking on my baby!" The other end of the spectrum is the ridiculously over-protective parents contributing to the increasing number of 20 year old babies. But, that's a rant for another day.
Maybe it's because I come from a very involved and close-knit family. Former friends would even tease and say my parents fell under that crazy over-protective category. But, I don't see it that way. And, besides, it worked! My sister and I never got into trouble with the law or in school. With the exception of my one and only fight in grade school that was self defense. We had rules instilled in us and we learned the value of sticking to a commitment and living a good life. And, most of all, that actions have consequences you have to face when you fuck up.
I'll go back to the fight I had in school. I hit a kid with my purse last period of the day. He had several classes with me and had been harassing me all day long. He pushed me to the ground and I retaliated. The principal wouldn't give me the time of day, but believed his crazy story about how I was a complete bitch and had it in for him from day 1. I went home crying, because we were both punished with in-school suspension. (Sit in an old art room... together... all day long doing your classwork. Worst. Day. Of. My. Life... at that point) My dad called the school. Even though I was not at fault, I still broke the rules by hitting the little jerk. And, so, served my punishment. It sucked. My 14 year old brain thought it wasn't fair and I wanted to call in sick. But, it taught me a lesson.
Again, actions have consequences. Don't study for an exam? You're probably going to flunk. Spill coffee from McDonalds all over your lap? Guess what! That shit's HOT. It says so, like 50 million times on the cup. You're going to get burned. Antagonize the dog next door? Yeah, you get no sympathy from me when he bites your hand. And, the list goes on.
I mentioned to my best friend that I was working on this post and, referring to the first news story I mentioned, I brought up my opinion on gun control. No, it is not a crime to own a gun, nor should it be. It's one of our Constitutional rights (if you live in the U.S. I know I have a few international readers out there) and I get that. BUT necessary checks and balances need to be in place, along with proper education, to ensure a) some crazy nut job doesn't decide he wants to shoot up a movie theater, b) some poor kid who feels he has no other way can't shoot up his school to stop the bullies from making his life a living hell, c) a little child can't get hold of it, thinking it's a toy and end up shooting, if not themselves, someone else. But, oh. Wait, that would fall under actually being a parent and teaching your children right from wrong. Rather than blaming the world when they end up in jail or, worse, dead. My friend owns guns. They frequent their local range. They bought a BB gun for their 7 and 9 year old kids to use only at the range, under supervision of mom and dad, and locked in a fingerprint safe. And, emphasizing these things are not toys. Even BB guns can be deadly if mishandled. We all laugh at Ralphie from Christmas Story and his "You'll shoot your eye out, kid." But, if you recall, he almost did shoot his eye out. My friend repeats this lesson over and over and will continue as her children grow up. That's taking proper responsibility.
Another thing we talked about, on this topic of guns, was school shootings. Perhaps we come from a naïve age when we were kids. Perhaps they're covered more because of the constant media saturation we get from... everywhere. But, we never heard of school shooting before Columbine. (9th grade for me) And now, sadly, they're so common place. And, what is one thing they say about many of the shooters? They were bullied in school. Now, I have shared my story numerous time about how I was bullied in school. 6th grade, coming home in tears nearly every day because kids called me "fat," "stupid," "useless," "bitch," and I'm sure there were more names long forgotten. 8th grade, I already mentioned the little creep that pushed me so far I slapped him. High school, I was the slow kid in gym class. My grades were a C average if I studied all night and prayed my heart out. I was the quiet one, so that made me a target. Rumors were spread about my best friend and I being "more than friends," if you get my drift. But, not once did I consider getting a gun and shooting up my school. Why? Because I could talk to my parents. They may have been a tad over protective but that's how parents are supposed to be. Hands on, caring about their children. Making sure they grow to have good values and become productive members of society. If you can't do that, don't have any freaking kids! You'll only be doing more harm to them and then scratching your heads wondering what went wrong.
There is the other extreme I'll touch on quickly. The parents who smother. Now, my parents were protective, but they still let my sister and I live our lives. We made mistakes. We mishandled our money. (Or, at least I did) We had those bad relationships and heartbreaks. But, you need those lessons in life. You can't have Mom and Dad hovering over you night and day because you won't figure out how to be a grown-up. Something even most adults haven't figured out yet but it's a process and different experiences for everyone. Mom and Dad, sadly, won't be around forever. You have to take charge of your life.
And, yes, that involves the tough lesson that so many kids have to learn. People can be cruel. You're going to get picked on. People are going to torment you and try to make your lives a living hell for shits and giggles. But, that means there's something wrong with them! I was trying to tell my friend's daughter this a few months back when she was telling me about a boy in school calling her ugly. "He's ignorant and blind because you are a lovely little girl." She shrugged and gave the usual reply I gave my mom so many times. "You're just saying that." "No, I'm not," I said. "I always feel that people who get joy out of making others miserable are miserable themselves. And, the way they make themselves feel superior is bringing others down instead of trying to raise themselves up. If he can't see what a great person you are, it's his loss because he could be missing out on a great friend if he just took the time to get to know you."
Which leads to another thing I need to grumble about. I'm a tolerant person. I enjoy learning about different religions and cultures. History has always interested me, the good, the bad, and the boring. And, it takes a lot to piss me off. The fact that I'm writing this is an example of the fact that I need to get things off my mind because I'm getting very close to voicing my opinions. And, with my luck, I'll say it to the wrong person who will take it the wrong way and I'll be in trouble. Probably at work. There is a certain public figure on the political scene in this country that makes me so mad. Remember I mentioned a Hulk-like rage? Yeah, he's reason number 1 I can't watch the news anymore. His blatant, ignorant, racist, sexist blabbering scares the daylights out of me! And, I pray I'm not alone. I hope to God above he does not win the election, or even the nomination he's seeking, because we're all in deep shit and I'll be packing my bags for Australia. He is demeaning to... well, anyone who is not a rich white man with bad hair. He doesn't care about family. He's quote in a 2005 interview (Buzzfeed article here and, yes, if you haven't figured it out, you'll know who I'm talking about. I am on my boyfriend's laptop and I don't think he'd appreciate me destroying it in a fit of temper because this man fills me with so much anger) saying in part, "I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids." He wouldn't even push the baby in the stroller on a simple walk down the street! What kind of parent does that? How is that an example for his children? Especially his sons.
Now, let me give you a situation here. I'll make up a normal(ish) American family. Dad works and is one of the minority who can be a solo provider for his family for whatever reason so Mom stays home, tends house, and takes care of the kids. Seems okay, right? Let's not forget. Being a stay-home mom is a tough, highly underappreciated job. It's not like the "Real Housewives of ---" where an army of nannies take care of the kids while Mommy attends cocktail parties and watches soaps all day. No, when Dad's not home, she's doing mountains of laundry, dishes, just anything to just make the house somewhat presentable should a guest decide to drop by. Siblings fight. I know my sister and I did. My boyfriend and his brother have stories. So, as a parent, you're breaking up those fights and dishing out punishments. There are also the joys of parents. First steps, hearing "Mama" or "Daddy" for the first time. You know what gave me the "I want kids" bug? My friend's daughter was spending the weekend with me. We were in church and she threw her arms around me and gave me the most adoring smile in the world. I thought, "My God. I want to see that look coming from my own kids. That's the best feeling in the world." But, I digress. Back to my scenario here. So, the family is busy. Dad's working and helping Mom run the kids to Scouts, dance, baseball, football, visiting relatives, all that stuff that happens in life with kids. Suddenly, Mom isn't feeling well. She becomes ill. Or, she injures herself. She has to stay in bed for days/weeks on end! Can't afford a nanny with medical expenses piling up. Grandma or Aunt Lucy come help when they can but it's not a 24/7 deal. Guess what? Dad suddenly has to step up. It may mean changing his hours at work or working from home sometimes. Canceling that business trip. And, yes, he'll have to cook/do laundry/yard work/and all that other stuff Mom was doing but can't.
But, according to... yeah, you figured it out already so I'm still not typing his name... "That's not my thing." Self-centered creep. My dad does most of the cooking. Does that mean he's "acting like a wife," too? No, I think it means he's helping his wife who has to go to work as early as 3 a.m. and is so exhausted she fall asleep as soon as her rear hits the sofa. You know, if all men thought like you, I shudder to think what our world would be like. I'm pretty sure my mom wouldn't have married my dad. Then, my sister and I wouldn't be here and we wouldn't be at the place we are in our lives without hands on parents. Even now, at nearly 32, I know I can call my parents when I need to. Just before Christmas, I called my mom sobbing because my car wouldn't start after work and I was terrified it was something major. She calmed me down, she and Dad drove to my job, they looked it over, and said it was just the battery. Then, they helped me jump it and get it to the shop. If they weren't protective of us, I probably would have died 2 years ago from the blood clot in my leg because I was putting off seeing the doctor. But, my mom woke me up saying, "I called you off work. Make a doctor appointment now or we're just going to the E.R." Hands off dads wouldn't meet their daughters for dinners once a week just to talk and catch up on life amid busy schedules. Hands off dads would probably never notice when their daughters came home crying after their first big heartbreak and feeling like the world shattered around them like a dropped snow globe.
I could go on. But, my brain is fried and I need to be up early myself to work on my other writing projects before Day Job resumes once more. Looking forward to a long, quiet weekend and, hopefully, continued nice weather.
I hope my rants and ramblings sparked some thought, if not conversation. I'd love to talk/civilly debate. And, thanks for reading if you made it to the end.
Good night,
Carey
Monday, April 25, 2016
A Lost Light
Well, today is going to suck. I'm attending a funeral after work for a former coworker. 25 years old, super sweet young man. He was hard working. He always had a smile and a kind word for anyone he met.
I'm going to copy the Facebook post from his sister on the day he died and post it here before I say more:
I'm going to copy the Facebook post from his sister on the day he died and post it here before I say more:
Today has been the most devastating day of my life. Today my baby brother died. He was 25. He was a son, a brother, a nurse. He loved to laugh, he loved his patients and he loved his family. As great as he was, he fought with a demon inside of him and lost. That demon was addiction. It started many years ago with a back injury ... pills mostly. Then came the anxiety. Xanax and an alcohol chaser. We saw it coming like a freight train. After pleading with him to get help, he finally did. Rehab, for 28 days. We (his family) attended Nar-Anon meetings to help with our own struggles. On Tuesday he came home. He was changed. For the better perhaps, or just different. "Rehab was the best drug education I could have ever gotten." He joked. Little did we know he wasn't kidding. Today, 36 hours after leaving rehab, he died of a heroin overdose. He learned about heroin, in detail, in rehab. It isn't anyone's fault this happened but his own. I'm not angry. He has become just another a statistic.
I'm sharing this with you because my brother wasn't your typical "junkie". He was a good kid from a good home. He had a family that loved him and a good job. He had great, caring friends that tried to help him with his depression. He had hopes and dreams of a great future. All of that was taken by addiction. If you know of someone struggling with addiction, please find them help. Their life could depend on it. There are "signs". Don't pretend they aren't there or that your loved one will "get better" on their own. They cannot do it on their own. This is a disease. I cannot recommend Nar-Anon meetings highly enough. Find one if you are worried about a loved one. Go. They can and will help you. Tell your loved one you love them. The heroin on the streets today is mixed with all sorts of deadly crap. It kills. Please do not be ashamed. I was. I will not be anymore. Tim and others like him deserve to be able to stand tall and say "My name is Tim, I'm an addict .... and I need help." Please share this message. I have met some wonderful people during this process. Some have made it through .. some have not. I want others to know .... There is Hope.
To those friends and family that have supported us through this tough time, I cannot express my sincerest "Thank You's" enough. Once his final arraignments have been made, I will pass those along.
When I saw the news of this, I wanted to be physically sick. How could this happen to such a sweet guy? With so many evil people in the world, why do the good ones have to suffer like this? All the questions that one would ask during a time like this. It just goes to show how truly fragile life can be.
I think Melissa's post says it all so I'm not going to add much more. I'm going to start crying again if I do. I just wanted to share this with you and, if you or anyone you know is going through a problem with addiction, get help. It is possible. And, if you are blessed to have a healthy family, give them an extra hug tonight. Tim's parents shouldn't have to bury their child tonight. But, he will be remembered as a wonderful and rare light in a world full of darkness.
To those friends and family that have supported us through this tough time, I cannot express my sincerest "Thank You's" enough. Once his final arraignments have been made, I will pass those along.
When I saw the news of this, I wanted to be physically sick. How could this happen to such a sweet guy? With so many evil people in the world, why do the good ones have to suffer like this? All the questions that one would ask during a time like this. It just goes to show how truly fragile life can be.
I think Melissa's post says it all so I'm not going to add much more. I'm going to start crying again if I do. I just wanted to share this with you and, if you or anyone you know is going through a problem with addiction, get help. It is possible. And, if you are blessed to have a healthy family, give them an extra hug tonight. Tim's parents shouldn't have to bury their child tonight. But, he will be remembered as a wonderful and rare light in a world full of darkness.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
All the 2014 Things and Looking Forward to 2015
Wow. Where did the year go? It seems like last week I was hanging out with my friends and family, ready to ring in 2014. I had so much planned in my mind. I was turning 30. I was working on my writing. I was planning on traveling more and doing all kinds of fun and exciting things. And now I'm laying in bed during the first hour of the last day of that year wondering one thing. "What the hell happened to 2014?"
A hashtag began circulating Twitter about two weeks ago. #2014in5words Well, my 5 words are these. "Did not go as planned." This is true for the two major events of this year. My cousin, Dee, passing away in June at only age 44 and my health scare in July when I developed a deep vein clot in my right leg which left me hospitalized for a whole weekend and off work for 6 weeks. (I'm still not 100% from that.) But, these things were not anyone's fault and beyond anyone's control. And, it taught me a few valuable lessons:
1) Treasure every day you have. You never know what's going to happen to you so take an extra minute in the morning and say, "I'm awake. I'm breathing. I'm off to a good start." Even if you're not in the best of health, every day is a new chance so make a point to be healthier and improve your quality of life.
2) Family is everything. Now, I know there are family members we don't get along with. Either we are not that close to them or something went down and we're completely not on speaking terms. Whatever. Everyone has a situation like that. But, when something happens, you know which people in your family (and among your friends) who will stick by you through everything and hold your hand to keep you calm, even when they're terrified right with you. The ones who hold back the tears so you can sob your heart out in their arms. The ones who will cry right along with you and share a box of extra large tissue with you.
3) Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. You can either let it hit you and knock you down or roll with it and continue on as best you can. Yeah, these, and other, things happened. Yeah, some plans got pushed aside or canceled completely. But, as long as I remembered the first two lessons, I was able to keep going and make the best of what did happen that was positive in my life.
I also failed my reading challenge. I had planned to read 50 books. I think my final count was 12? But, I'm not a fast reader and I was distracted with stuff! Like being in the hospital. More on that later.
2014 wasn't all bad. I did have a lot of fun and am nearer to accomplishing a lifelong dream than I ever imagined I would be! I turned 30. My sister and her boyfriend came over and we had cake and ice cream and it's always a bunch of laughs when they're over.
I went to ComicCon again with my boyfriend in Octover., and this time we were able to stay in Columbus so it was like our first vacation together. We were able to wander the city this time and I not only got to see Jason David Frank again but I met Nicholas Brendan for the first time! I even made a new friend named Shaun while standing in line and met this lovely cosplayer/model named Samantha. I bought books from writers and talked about my own work in progress which was really exciting. And, I can't wait til Comic Con comes to Cleveland in February! It's going to be so much fun!
Also this year I finally entered the 21st century and got my first smart phone! Yay technology! I got a Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini. I love this thing. I don't know how I ever lived without a smart phone before. I keep notes and my calendar and pictures. I can blog on it. I can keep up on the social medias easier.
And, finally, the best thing ever! I am just weeks away from publishing my first book! EEEEE!! I received my proof copy of my novella, Witches of Coolersville, on December 23rd, 2014! I'm going over it and plan on making a few changes to the content and the cover. But, it's happening! I'll be a published author in 2015! How exciting is that! I also started book 2 during my second consecutive victorious year participating in NaNoWriMo but it is currently in rewrite because I wrote 50,000 words of slop that I need to clean up in order to have a sequel that is equally as good as the first book.
So, that's an overview of some of the things in 2014. Now, on to 2015!!
Here are some of my goals/resolutions for 2015 (no order)-
1) Reading Challenge- I downloaded from Pinterest this reading challenge that looks like fun and I'll see how far I'll get on it. It's a list of different types of books to read in the coming year, like a book with a single word title. Or, a book with a color in the title. A book that came out the year you were born, that kind of thing. I'll copy the list into another entry so you can take a crack at it as well. It looks like it could be fun and maybe I'll do a better job at that than just picking a number and feeling pressured to meet the goal.
2) Move my rear out of my parents' house! For goodness sake, I'm going to be 31 this year. Time to get a move on. We'll see what the future holds for me in that department. I'll be sure to keep you all posted.
3) Stay healthy- This includes a number of things. Being more active. I'm going to try and take the pup for walks more often. I'm going to buy more juice and lay off the pop. I'll take my medicines and wear my compression braces so I don't end up in the hospital again. All that and more.
4) Continue writing- I'm so close to publishing book 1 and working on book 2. How can I stop now? I've dreamed about being a published author and seeing my name on shelves for years and years and it's finally going to happen!
5) Travel more- Returning to Columbus for ComicCon, taking weekend trips with my boyfriend or my girls. Whether it's just a drive up north to the beach or going out of state, I love to travel and see what else is outside my little town. It could provide more information and inspiration for future stories. And it's just nice to get away.
6) Buy a new computer, editing software, and an actual camcorder for the YouTubes. I'm bored with Windows Movie Maker and my current camera doesn't have the quality I want. And, my computer has certainly seen better days. Time for an upgrade. I'll probably use this one still for some things until it dies on me but I could use something new and better.
Here are my most anticipated things for 2015.
Book- Lion Heart by AC Gaughen. It's the final in the Scarlet trilogy which is a fabulous Robin Hood retelling tale. I've read the first one and when I get my hands on the third in May I'll marathon the whole trilogy.
Movie- Mockingjay Part 2! What more needs to be said?
TV- The Musketeers! Season 2 of the Musketeers is some time in January, I think. I loved the first season and I'm kinda sad Peter Capaldi won't be in it because he makes a wonderful Cardinal. But, he's obviously busy with Doctor Who now so we shall see how the new villain works out. I love me some good looking men with swords.
That's all for me right now. I'll also go ahead and post the 2015 reading challenge. Once I am able to update my web site, I'll have the list there with my progress and titles of what I've read.
Have a safe and happy new year!
Carey
A hashtag began circulating Twitter about two weeks ago. #2014in5words Well, my 5 words are these. "Did not go as planned." This is true for the two major events of this year. My cousin, Dee, passing away in June at only age 44 and my health scare in July when I developed a deep vein clot in my right leg which left me hospitalized for a whole weekend and off work for 6 weeks. (I'm still not 100% from that.) But, these things were not anyone's fault and beyond anyone's control. And, it taught me a few valuable lessons:
1) Treasure every day you have. You never know what's going to happen to you so take an extra minute in the morning and say, "I'm awake. I'm breathing. I'm off to a good start." Even if you're not in the best of health, every day is a new chance so make a point to be healthier and improve your quality of life.
2) Family is everything. Now, I know there are family members we don't get along with. Either we are not that close to them or something went down and we're completely not on speaking terms. Whatever. Everyone has a situation like that. But, when something happens, you know which people in your family (and among your friends) who will stick by you through everything and hold your hand to keep you calm, even when they're terrified right with you. The ones who hold back the tears so you can sob your heart out in their arms. The ones who will cry right along with you and share a box of extra large tissue with you.
3) Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. You can either let it hit you and knock you down or roll with it and continue on as best you can. Yeah, these, and other, things happened. Yeah, some plans got pushed aside or canceled completely. But, as long as I remembered the first two lessons, I was able to keep going and make the best of what did happen that was positive in my life.
I also failed my reading challenge. I had planned to read 50 books. I think my final count was 12? But, I'm not a fast reader and I was distracted with stuff! Like being in the hospital. More on that later.
2014 wasn't all bad. I did have a lot of fun and am nearer to accomplishing a lifelong dream than I ever imagined I would be! I turned 30. My sister and her boyfriend came over and we had cake and ice cream and it's always a bunch of laughs when they're over.
I went to ComicCon again with my boyfriend in Octover., and this time we were able to stay in Columbus so it was like our first vacation together. We were able to wander the city this time and I not only got to see Jason David Frank again but I met Nicholas Brendan for the first time! I even made a new friend named Shaun while standing in line and met this lovely cosplayer/model named Samantha. I bought books from writers and talked about my own work in progress which was really exciting. And, I can't wait til Comic Con comes to Cleveland in February! It's going to be so much fun!
Also this year I finally entered the 21st century and got my first smart phone! Yay technology! I got a Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini. I love this thing. I don't know how I ever lived without a smart phone before. I keep notes and my calendar and pictures. I can blog on it. I can keep up on the social medias easier.
And, finally, the best thing ever! I am just weeks away from publishing my first book! EEEEE!! I received my proof copy of my novella, Witches of Coolersville, on December 23rd, 2014! I'm going over it and plan on making a few changes to the content and the cover. But, it's happening! I'll be a published author in 2015! How exciting is that! I also started book 2 during my second consecutive victorious year participating in NaNoWriMo but it is currently in rewrite because I wrote 50,000 words of slop that I need to clean up in order to have a sequel that is equally as good as the first book.
So, that's an overview of some of the things in 2014. Now, on to 2015!!
Here are some of my goals/resolutions for 2015 (no order)-
1) Reading Challenge- I downloaded from Pinterest this reading challenge that looks like fun and I'll see how far I'll get on it. It's a list of different types of books to read in the coming year, like a book with a single word title. Or, a book with a color in the title. A book that came out the year you were born, that kind of thing. I'll copy the list into another entry so you can take a crack at it as well. It looks like it could be fun and maybe I'll do a better job at that than just picking a number and feeling pressured to meet the goal.
2) Move my rear out of my parents' house! For goodness sake, I'm going to be 31 this year. Time to get a move on. We'll see what the future holds for me in that department. I'll be sure to keep you all posted.
3) Stay healthy- This includes a number of things. Being more active. I'm going to try and take the pup for walks more often. I'm going to buy more juice and lay off the pop. I'll take my medicines and wear my compression braces so I don't end up in the hospital again. All that and more.
4) Continue writing- I'm so close to publishing book 1 and working on book 2. How can I stop now? I've dreamed about being a published author and seeing my name on shelves for years and years and it's finally going to happen!
5) Travel more- Returning to Columbus for ComicCon, taking weekend trips with my boyfriend or my girls. Whether it's just a drive up north to the beach or going out of state, I love to travel and see what else is outside my little town. It could provide more information and inspiration for future stories. And it's just nice to get away.
6) Buy a new computer, editing software, and an actual camcorder for the YouTubes. I'm bored with Windows Movie Maker and my current camera doesn't have the quality I want. And, my computer has certainly seen better days. Time for an upgrade. I'll probably use this one still for some things until it dies on me but I could use something new and better.
Here are my most anticipated things for 2015.
Book- Lion Heart by AC Gaughen. It's the final in the Scarlet trilogy which is a fabulous Robin Hood retelling tale. I've read the first one and when I get my hands on the third in May I'll marathon the whole trilogy.
Movie- Mockingjay Part 2! What more needs to be said?
TV- The Musketeers! Season 2 of the Musketeers is some time in January, I think. I loved the first season and I'm kinda sad Peter Capaldi won't be in it because he makes a wonderful Cardinal. But, he's obviously busy with Doctor Who now so we shall see how the new villain works out. I love me some good looking men with swords.
That's all for me right now. I'll also go ahead and post the 2015 reading challenge. Once I am able to update my web site, I'll have the list there with my progress and titles of what I've read.
Have a safe and happy new year!
Carey
Thursday, September 11, 2014
September Writing Challenge- Day 11
Prompt- What was this day in 2001 like for you?
When I was planning these prompts, I came across this one worded slightly differently and I debated it for today. I thought, 9/11, of course. But, would it be cliche? Because a lot of people are probably writing about this day and how it changed their lives. But, then I thought, that's sad that I would even consider it being cliche. Because it's not. It's a day that we should continue to remember, like Pearl Harbor or Oklahoma City. Because, while it is a tragedy, it impacted the world in so many ways and, maybe for a brief moment, brought people together under a cause.
Over the years, some of the details have faded in my memory but I know where I was and what I was doing on that horrible day. I was a senior in high school. I left my first class to set up banners from the day before. The 9th grade retreat was that Monday and there were banners and crafts the freshmen class had created so some of the retreat team were displaying them in the cafeteria for the rest of the school to see. When I returned to my class to get my books, they were airing when the President was informed at the school in Florida. I didn't know what was going on until I got to my second class, which was Web Design. My teacher filled me in and had the news on, as long as we promised to try and get our work done.
And, that was when we saw the second tower get hit and then they both fell. It was the most frightening thing I had ever seen in my 17 years of life. I remembered reading a story about a clothing factory in New York that caught fire in the early years of the last century and how the girls trapped inside were leaping from the window because the elevator didn't work. Everyone above where the planes hit, they had no way out and some did jump. And, the people who were still making their way down when the towers fell. My next thought was, "Oh, dear God, be with all those people trapped inside and now dying!" I couldn't focus on my work. I was fixated to the screen. I prayed harder than I ever prayed in my life. I was scared for all those people. I was scared about what would happen next. When we heard about the Pentagon, I was worried about where something would happen next. And, later that day to find the plane that crashed in PA was in Cleveland!
The day passed by in a blur. My remaining third class, choir, we couldn't watch anything. But, my final class, we watched the news. When the bell rang at 2:30, I went to catch my bus but my mom was there to get me. We picked up my sister and went home. After dinner, we watched the news while doing homework and then we all curled up on the couch together like when we were little. I think I remember my sister asking why this happened and the only explanation my parents could give was that there are some evil people in the world who don't want the rest of us to be happy. They want people to be scared. Makes them feel powerful. It was as good an explanation as any to a 17 and 12 year old, I guess.
But, then, when Congress gathered on the steps of the Capitol and sang God Bless America... together, forgetting differences in party and opinion, I remembered that good exists and what we need to work on doing is make sure the good always outweighs the evil.
I know that can be hard when there are organizations of hate like ISIS in the Mid East and the Klan here. When children are committing suicide for being gay or an autistic boy is having human waste dumped on him in a sadistic prank when he thought he was doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. When football athletes, who are viewed as role models for young boys, beat their spouses. Certain organizations who are supposed to follow Christian teachings protest funerals of soldiers and say they are going to hell because they fought for their country. Stories like that seem to flood our headlines and it makes the world into a frightening place to be. I've often caught myself saying, I don't think I want to bring children into a world like this. But, then I see the joy in my best friend's toddler when he's playing with my boyfriend on our occasional visits. I get a hug from a little girl who sees me every day in the store. I see organizations like NOH8, the No Body Shame Campaign, and Eliminate Prejudice all fighting for equality and against bullying based on gender, orientation, body type, race, and religion/beliefs. If only those positive things received more press than the negative.
If we could focus on the good, it would not eliminate the bad but it maybe it would help future generations see there are better ways to spend their time and better causes to fight for.
Thanks for reading.
Carey
When I was planning these prompts, I came across this one worded slightly differently and I debated it for today. I thought, 9/11, of course. But, would it be cliche? Because a lot of people are probably writing about this day and how it changed their lives. But, then I thought, that's sad that I would even consider it being cliche. Because it's not. It's a day that we should continue to remember, like Pearl Harbor or Oklahoma City. Because, while it is a tragedy, it impacted the world in so many ways and, maybe for a brief moment, brought people together under a cause.
Over the years, some of the details have faded in my memory but I know where I was and what I was doing on that horrible day. I was a senior in high school. I left my first class to set up banners from the day before. The 9th grade retreat was that Monday and there were banners and crafts the freshmen class had created so some of the retreat team were displaying them in the cafeteria for the rest of the school to see. When I returned to my class to get my books, they were airing when the President was informed at the school in Florida. I didn't know what was going on until I got to my second class, which was Web Design. My teacher filled me in and had the news on, as long as we promised to try and get our work done.
And, that was when we saw the second tower get hit and then they both fell. It was the most frightening thing I had ever seen in my 17 years of life. I remembered reading a story about a clothing factory in New York that caught fire in the early years of the last century and how the girls trapped inside were leaping from the window because the elevator didn't work. Everyone above where the planes hit, they had no way out and some did jump. And, the people who were still making their way down when the towers fell. My next thought was, "Oh, dear God, be with all those people trapped inside and now dying!" I couldn't focus on my work. I was fixated to the screen. I prayed harder than I ever prayed in my life. I was scared for all those people. I was scared about what would happen next. When we heard about the Pentagon, I was worried about where something would happen next. And, later that day to find the plane that crashed in PA was in Cleveland!
The day passed by in a blur. My remaining third class, choir, we couldn't watch anything. But, my final class, we watched the news. When the bell rang at 2:30, I went to catch my bus but my mom was there to get me. We picked up my sister and went home. After dinner, we watched the news while doing homework and then we all curled up on the couch together like when we were little. I think I remember my sister asking why this happened and the only explanation my parents could give was that there are some evil people in the world who don't want the rest of us to be happy. They want people to be scared. Makes them feel powerful. It was as good an explanation as any to a 17 and 12 year old, I guess.
But, then, when Congress gathered on the steps of the Capitol and sang God Bless America... together, forgetting differences in party and opinion, I remembered that good exists and what we need to work on doing is make sure the good always outweighs the evil.
I know that can be hard when there are organizations of hate like ISIS in the Mid East and the Klan here. When children are committing suicide for being gay or an autistic boy is having human waste dumped on him in a sadistic prank when he thought he was doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. When football athletes, who are viewed as role models for young boys, beat their spouses. Certain organizations who are supposed to follow Christian teachings protest funerals of soldiers and say they are going to hell because they fought for their country. Stories like that seem to flood our headlines and it makes the world into a frightening place to be. I've often caught myself saying, I don't think I want to bring children into a world like this. But, then I see the joy in my best friend's toddler when he's playing with my boyfriend on our occasional visits. I get a hug from a little girl who sees me every day in the store. I see organizations like NOH8, the No Body Shame Campaign, and Eliminate Prejudice all fighting for equality and against bullying based on gender, orientation, body type, race, and religion/beliefs. If only those positive things received more press than the negative.
If we could focus on the good, it would not eliminate the bad but it maybe it would help future generations see there are better ways to spend their time and better causes to fight for.
Thanks for reading.
Carey
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
September Writing Challenge- Day 2
Prompt- I threw a surprise party for... and this is what happened.
A few years ago, I threw a surprise party for my mom's 50th birthday. My dad and my sister helped, of course. One of my aunts made the cake. And, overall, the party was a success.
The problem was keeping the secret from my mother for two whole months. I'm very close to my parents. I tell them just about everything. So, it was very difficult for me to keep this huge thing from my mom. And, as the time drew closer, I was beginning to panic about getting things done and worrying about people who were not replying as to whether or not they were coming which drives me insane. Also, people were asking me what to get Mom as a gift and I had no idea. Whenever I asked her, just casually, she would say things like "world peace" or "a cure for cancer." Totally not helping. And, when I am worried about things, it's hard to keep it contained.
So, the night before the party, my parents and I are eating dinner and I'm mentally going through all the things I have to do the next day to get ready. Mom could tell something was bothering me but every time she asked, I lied and said nothing. Finally, she says, "I know what I want for my birthday."
Without thinking, I blurt, "Oh, now you tell me."
"So you got me something," she says, curious now.
My eyes went wide, I probably went pale and in my head I'm saying, *Shit! Blabber mouth. Now what?* What I said was, "You're gonna have to wait and see."
"I bet you can't keep it til Tuesday," she said. (Her actual birthday was the Tuesday after. The party was on a Friday)
"You're gonna have to wait and see," I said again, thinking this is a vague enough reply. The whole time my dad is laughing and I was worried he was going to blab as well. But, he didn't. When my mom arrived at the party and got over her initial shock, she came over to me and said, "I knew you couldn't keep it til Tuesday."
As I said, overall, the party was a success. The people who meant most attended. We had it at the old catering hall I used to work at so some friends who were former coworkers served the food. Everything was great. I took lots of pictures and memories were made that my mom will never forget.
What about you? What are some of your surprise party experiences? Leave a comment below and share. I'd love to hear.
Thanks for reading!
Carey
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| At Mom's party, December 2009 Family photo |
A few years ago, I threw a surprise party for my mom's 50th birthday. My dad and my sister helped, of course. One of my aunts made the cake. And, overall, the party was a success.
The problem was keeping the secret from my mother for two whole months. I'm very close to my parents. I tell them just about everything. So, it was very difficult for me to keep this huge thing from my mom. And, as the time drew closer, I was beginning to panic about getting things done and worrying about people who were not replying as to whether or not they were coming which drives me insane. Also, people were asking me what to get Mom as a gift and I had no idea. Whenever I asked her, just casually, she would say things like "world peace" or "a cure for cancer." Totally not helping. And, when I am worried about things, it's hard to keep it contained.
So, the night before the party, my parents and I are eating dinner and I'm mentally going through all the things I have to do the next day to get ready. Mom could tell something was bothering me but every time she asked, I lied and said nothing. Finally, she says, "I know what I want for my birthday."
Without thinking, I blurt, "Oh, now you tell me."
"So you got me something," she says, curious now.
My eyes went wide, I probably went pale and in my head I'm saying, *Shit! Blabber mouth. Now what?* What I said was, "You're gonna have to wait and see."
"I bet you can't keep it til Tuesday," she said. (Her actual birthday was the Tuesday after. The party was on a Friday)
"You're gonna have to wait and see," I said again, thinking this is a vague enough reply. The whole time my dad is laughing and I was worried he was going to blab as well. But, he didn't. When my mom arrived at the party and got over her initial shock, she came over to me and said, "I knew you couldn't keep it til Tuesday."
As I said, overall, the party was a success. The people who meant most attended. We had it at the old catering hall I used to work at so some friends who were former coworkers served the food. Everything was great. I took lots of pictures and memories were made that my mom will never forget.
What about you? What are some of your surprise party experiences? Leave a comment below and share. I'd love to hear.
Thanks for reading!
Carey
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Reflections on Family
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| Me with some of my older cousins. Christmas long ago. |
Family has always been very important to me. I've been brought up in a very close knit, immediate family. My parents, sister and I moved in with my paternal grandmother when I was 8 years old after my grandfather and uncle died within a few months of each other. Obviously, Gram took it extremely hard, having to bury her husband and son so close together. So, we did what we could to help her out.
Now, I know not all families are like on Full House or the Brady Bunch where everything is perfect and no one ever argues and all issues are resolved right away with a kiss and "I love you" and life goes on. Yeah... no. I can say from just my sister and I alone how we fought like a couple of street cats on a near daily basis until my sister was about 17 and graduating high school. And we still have our moments when we fight and drive each other crazy with stupid sh*t. But, we work it out. Because we look at other members of our family, people who argued and got mad over really stupid sh*t or some misunderstanding or some fabricated wrong that could have been resolved right away when the real reason was minor but festered and was embellished over the years into this seething loathing, and we swore we didn't want to be like that. EVER. So, we have our argument, cool down for a day or two if need be, and then work on whatever we can to resolve the issue and be friends again.
And we've tried to share that thinking with other members of our family. Some cousins we are really close to. It's not always easy to keep in touch. Social media does help. Especially when you have family on the other end of the country and you maybe get to see them once a year. But, we try our hardest not to let stupid, minor issues get between us.
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| Family Baseball Game Me, sis, Dad and cousins and uncle photobombing in the background |
Sure, we tease each other. It's what families do. We'll spend whole holiday dinners ragging on each other. And we'll embellish the story to make the person turn red. Like, the one time, when my one cousin bumped into my aunt. He literally did not see her because she's really small. He turned, she was there, and he bumped her in the head. So, over the years, we've added on to make it seem like he plowed into her like he was a football linebacker or something. He laughs and rolls with it and my aunt will shake her fist and say "I'm still plotting my revenge" and it's all good fun. When another cousin had her wisdoms out before Christmas couple years ago and was still swollen, someone bought her a Chippette doll as a joke. She laughed, even though it hurt her mouth. She took it pretty well. Or, just before Easter, my one aunt said something about how I had the best aunt ever (meaning her) and I said my other aunt was the best. So, all through Easter dinner, they would bring up embarrassing stories about me because I brought Boy along and they wanted to see me turn red. It kind of backfired because he was engrossed in the baseball game. Completely didn't hear what was being said. And that's how we keep things light and funny.
But, there's a line between "funny haha teasing" and being downright mean. And maybe some people don't mean to be mean. They'll say something in a way they think is trying to help. And it gets blown out of proportion. I knew a girl back in high school. She was a tall, curvy girl, like me. Her great-aunt would come from out of town couple times a year to visit. She worked at a department store and would always bring stuff that she bought on sale plus her employee discount. (She was a hoarder trying to pass off her junk) But, she always brought stuff that was size Small, Extra Small, maaaybe a medium or two. My friend couldn't wear it. She'd always end up giving it to other relatives who were smaller. Last time this aunt visited, she was saying her good byes, stood my friend in front of her, put her hands on the girl's hips and said "I want you 100 pounds lighter next time I see you." Now, her grandmother was also visiting at the time, heard this, and began a screaming match in the driveway with her sister, my friend's great aunt. The two sisters never spoke again. When the grandmother died, and the aunt was called and informed, she basically said "Oh, that sucks" and hung up. Didn't even attend her own sister's funeral. All because of a situation that could have been handled SO much differently. Now, both parties were at fault in this, my friend and I agree. The aunt shouldn't have said what she said, or she could have at least been a little nicer about it. And the grandmother didn't have to start a screaming match. They BOTH should have been on the phone after a day or two of cooling down, and resolving the problem. So, when I hear stories like that, I think how I wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't talk to my sister or any of my cousins.
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| Sis and I acting goofy for the camera Christmas 2013 |
One thing I think helps keep us all together is we try to do big family events. We were trying to get Jersey Boy tickets for a girls night. Last year we did a baseball game together. My west coast family was in town, we got 25 tickets for whoever could come, and met up for the game. It was also dollar dog night. Best time to go with 20+ people because everyone can get fed for cheap... ish. Everything else is still cray expensive at the ballpark. I think my sis, Mom, and I split the soda. We got the massive souvenir cup with refills and passed it between us. We want to plan a bowling night sometime this summer. That'll be great, seeing as I'm hilariously bad at bowling. Maybe the Boy can give me some pointers. He's on a league and is really good. But, these big events help the core group of us get together, hang out, catch up on life in between birthdays and holidays and big family reunions.
Communication is also huge for us. I've mentioned social media- my cousin on the other end of the country and his wife and kids are all on Facebook and always posting pictures. Some of my younger cousins have Instagram. We also text each other like crazy and my mom and her sisters talk on conference call nearly every night. And, I can so see my sister and I doing the same thing in the future. Maybe not conference calls but Skype or something like that.
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| "Hey, Mom, Dad. Pose for a nice picture." *hide* -.- |
The strength of my family is incredible. We've banded together for good times like weddings and graduations, surprise birthday parties. And held each other up while we watched loved ones weaken and pass on to God either from cancer or some other illnesses. We've cried and blamed God and wondered why but, in the end, we know we still have those memories and we cherish them as much as we can and so when we have a wedding or a birthday we are able to celebrate those moments all the more because we know how precious those occasions can be and we don't know how many we're given.
Okay, emotional exhaustion is taking over right now. I need to nab a few hours sleep so I can function at work tomorrow without breaking down. Just wanted to talk a bit about my family and how awesome they are. What about your families? Share some stories in the comment box below.
Also, and I said this on Twitter earlier today but I'm saying it again. Treasure your family. They may drive you crazy but they're all you've got that really matters. Take an extra couple minutes to call that uncle in California. Or Grandma in Florida. Work things out. Don't hold grudges. Say "I love you" whenever you can. Because you never know what can happen and that moment's hesitation might make things too late.
Take care, guys. Thanks for reading.
~Carey
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge Day 11
"My Family"
Oh, what to say about my family? Best way to sum us up is we're crazy. I mean, absolutely, batty! But, we're the fun kind of crazy. We're always laughing and giving each other a hard time because that is how we show affection. It throws people off who do not know us that well but they either get used to it or ignore us.
I am the oldest of two. And, somewhere in the middle with my cousins. A good chunk of us are pretty close. Every family has issues so I'm not even going to pretend we're perfect and get along all the time. There are even some people we don't talk to. Either they've cut ties or it was mutual. But, that's depressing so I won't get into that. :)
For the sake of not writing a book, I'll just talk about my immediate family and pet. First, of course, is my parents. They are where I get my crazy from. My sister and I take after them in our own ways. I look like my mom. Brown hair, green eyes, fairer complexion. I think I have the height from my dad's family. Although, my mom's family has a wide range of heights. But, there are stories of ancestors in Europe on my dad's side being over 7 feet tall. My sister looks more like our dad. Big, dark brown eyes and dark, thick, hair with this wonderful natural wave to it that I envy to no end. (Mine is thin and stick straight, partly because of my various health issues) My mom and I are quieter and more passive than Dad and Sis. But, the thing about quiet, passive people is don't mistake the quiet for weakness. Because, if you push us too far, look out. It's Volcano Day in Pompeii. We've both had our incidents where this has happened and we really shock people when it happens. Whereas Dad and Sis will tell you right off if they have an issue with you. Dad is a former police officer and a great natural judge of character.
Both my parents have been tremendously supportive my whole life. They encouraged me to join musical theater when I was a preteen. Mainly because I was very shy. They wanted to help get me out of my shell a bit. I still have my moments when I'm around a new group where I clam up but it helped and I have a love of music and theater that will be lifelong. They also helped me so much during my rough days where I was being bullied in junior high. And, they have encouraged my writing my whole life. I changed my major several times while going to college. Mom knew that I always kept going back to writing in some form or another.
My folks are also great to party with! I had a small backyard party one year for my birthday and a girl I used to go to school with gave me a hard time about them being there. Well, first, I was using Dad's DJ equipment so he wasn't going to go anywhere in order to prevent something from happening to it. And, my parents are fun! New Years Eve is the highlight of the year. We invite a bunch of friends, Dad makes a ton of food, and we just hang out until 3 AM or later. He has one rule. If you're going to drink, unless you came with someone, he takes your keys. Driving with my mom is fun because she'll sing along with the radio with my sister and I and we'll pretend we were in a mother/daughter music group. She taught us how to car dance! When I was a teenager, my dad and I would wake up before the crack of dawn to go fishing. We'd drive out to "Our Spot" and stay there until lunchtime or we ran out of bait, talking about everything we could think of. That was just our time. Mom would go with us sometimes but she wasn't that into fishing. And Sis would set the worms free. But, they also took no crap from us girls, either. Dad's favorite line is "I've done everything you've done, thought about doing, or will do. We just called it something else."
Some people, especially those who know how snarky my father is, find it hard to believe he is a deacon of the Catholic Church. But, he is wonderful in his ministry and I think his no-sugarcoating way of speaking is more effective with people. He has even managed to bring people back to the Church. When he preaches, he relates Scripture to real life, either present day events or events in his life which connects to people really well.
My sister is my best friend. She is 5 years younger than me. We are pretty opposite in temperament and personality. And, we didn't always get along. When we were younger, we would fight like a pair of alley cats. Sometimes there was even bloodshed. Like the time I tried to prevent her from entering our room and I lost my grip on the door and fell into the nightstand. I still have a scar on my back where I cut myself on the corner of it. There was only one ER trip. We were playing ball in the front yard and she nailed me in the forehead with a line drive. (Girl's got a hell of an arm. She definitely got the athletics gene that skipped me) But, usually, after a couple hours of to cool off, we're back to giggles and being the best of friends again.
We are also very protective of each other. When I was going through a bad breakup a few years back, she had my back all the way. She wouldn't let me hide in my room. She called two of our mutual friends and we had a girls night. She helped me pick myself up and helped me learn to live for ME. She hasn't gone through anything as rough, but when I caught an acquaintance during my community college days checking her out (while she was still in high school) I made my displeasure quite clear. We laugh and cry together, although I cry more because I'm much more emotional. We give each other advice about a variety of issues. We tease and torment because that's what sisters do. We have mutual friends we spend time with when we can. Both our work schedules can be quite hectic but we make it work. She's great at doing hair. She comes up with great ideas and is usually able to pull it off. She's also a wonderful artist.
And, we can't forget her Highness, Princess Seige. (Pronounced Sage. Sis picked it) She is our 11 year old grumpy cat. She was my sister's cat but since she went off to college and has since moved out, the cat has latched on to Dad. She cries when he leaves or goes to bed. She has to be his shadow everywhere. She even squeezes between my parents while they're sitting on the couch watching TV at night. She doesn't like to be pet by anyone else. Unless she feels like it. If someone touches her when she's not in the mood, she'll go off and wash herself. When we had our dog, she would wait by the door for us to let him back in and then jump up and slap him in the face. She couldn't stand my cat, Sabrina, and so we had to keep them separate. No matter what we did in the 11 years they were together, they never got along. She is declawed, thankfully. But she has learned to compensate with her teeth. She doesn't like the boyfriends, but that's because they both tease her so it's a justified dislike.
So, that's my immediate family in a nutshell. I'll probably be talking more about them in the future as I continue with this challenge and general writing.
Have a good night!
Carey
Oh, what to say about my family? Best way to sum us up is we're crazy. I mean, absolutely, batty! But, we're the fun kind of crazy. We're always laughing and giving each other a hard time because that is how we show affection. It throws people off who do not know us that well but they either get used to it or ignore us.
I am the oldest of two. And, somewhere in the middle with my cousins. A good chunk of us are pretty close. Every family has issues so I'm not even going to pretend we're perfect and get along all the time. There are even some people we don't talk to. Either they've cut ties or it was mutual. But, that's depressing so I won't get into that. :)
For the sake of not writing a book, I'll just talk about my immediate family and pet. First, of course, is my parents. They are where I get my crazy from. My sister and I take after them in our own ways. I look like my mom. Brown hair, green eyes, fairer complexion. I think I have the height from my dad's family. Although, my mom's family has a wide range of heights. But, there are stories of ancestors in Europe on my dad's side being over 7 feet tall. My sister looks more like our dad. Big, dark brown eyes and dark, thick, hair with this wonderful natural wave to it that I envy to no end. (Mine is thin and stick straight, partly because of my various health issues) My mom and I are quieter and more passive than Dad and Sis. But, the thing about quiet, passive people is don't mistake the quiet for weakness. Because, if you push us too far, look out. It's Volcano Day in Pompeii. We've both had our incidents where this has happened and we really shock people when it happens. Whereas Dad and Sis will tell you right off if they have an issue with you. Dad is a former police officer and a great natural judge of character.
Both my parents have been tremendously supportive my whole life. They encouraged me to join musical theater when I was a preteen. Mainly because I was very shy. They wanted to help get me out of my shell a bit. I still have my moments when I'm around a new group where I clam up but it helped and I have a love of music and theater that will be lifelong. They also helped me so much during my rough days where I was being bullied in junior high. And, they have encouraged my writing my whole life. I changed my major several times while going to college. Mom knew that I always kept going back to writing in some form or another.
My folks are also great to party with! I had a small backyard party one year for my birthday and a girl I used to go to school with gave me a hard time about them being there. Well, first, I was using Dad's DJ equipment so he wasn't going to go anywhere in order to prevent something from happening to it. And, my parents are fun! New Years Eve is the highlight of the year. We invite a bunch of friends, Dad makes a ton of food, and we just hang out until 3 AM or later. He has one rule. If you're going to drink, unless you came with someone, he takes your keys. Driving with my mom is fun because she'll sing along with the radio with my sister and I and we'll pretend we were in a mother/daughter music group. She taught us how to car dance! When I was a teenager, my dad and I would wake up before the crack of dawn to go fishing. We'd drive out to "Our Spot" and stay there until lunchtime or we ran out of bait, talking about everything we could think of. That was just our time. Mom would go with us sometimes but she wasn't that into fishing. And Sis would set the worms free. But, they also took no crap from us girls, either. Dad's favorite line is "I've done everything you've done, thought about doing, or will do. We just called it something else."
Some people, especially those who know how snarky my father is, find it hard to believe he is a deacon of the Catholic Church. But, he is wonderful in his ministry and I think his no-sugarcoating way of speaking is more effective with people. He has even managed to bring people back to the Church. When he preaches, he relates Scripture to real life, either present day events or events in his life which connects to people really well.
My sister is my best friend. She is 5 years younger than me. We are pretty opposite in temperament and personality. And, we didn't always get along. When we were younger, we would fight like a pair of alley cats. Sometimes there was even bloodshed. Like the time I tried to prevent her from entering our room and I lost my grip on the door and fell into the nightstand. I still have a scar on my back where I cut myself on the corner of it. There was only one ER trip. We were playing ball in the front yard and she nailed me in the forehead with a line drive. (Girl's got a hell of an arm. She definitely got the athletics gene that skipped me) But, usually, after a couple hours of to cool off, we're back to giggles and being the best of friends again.
We are also very protective of each other. When I was going through a bad breakup a few years back, she had my back all the way. She wouldn't let me hide in my room. She called two of our mutual friends and we had a girls night. She helped me pick myself up and helped me learn to live for ME. She hasn't gone through anything as rough, but when I caught an acquaintance during my community college days checking her out (while she was still in high school) I made my displeasure quite clear. We laugh and cry together, although I cry more because I'm much more emotional. We give each other advice about a variety of issues. We tease and torment because that's what sisters do. We have mutual friends we spend time with when we can. Both our work schedules can be quite hectic but we make it work. She's great at doing hair. She comes up with great ideas and is usually able to pull it off. She's also a wonderful artist.
And, we can't forget her Highness, Princess Seige. (Pronounced Sage. Sis picked it) She is our 11 year old grumpy cat. She was my sister's cat but since she went off to college and has since moved out, the cat has latched on to Dad. She cries when he leaves or goes to bed. She has to be his shadow everywhere. She even squeezes between my parents while they're sitting on the couch watching TV at night. She doesn't like to be pet by anyone else. Unless she feels like it. If someone touches her when she's not in the mood, she'll go off and wash herself. When we had our dog, she would wait by the door for us to let him back in and then jump up and slap him in the face. She couldn't stand my cat, Sabrina, and so we had to keep them separate. No matter what we did in the 11 years they were together, they never got along. She is declawed, thankfully. But she has learned to compensate with her teeth. She doesn't like the boyfriends, but that's because they both tease her so it's a justified dislike.
So, that's my immediate family in a nutshell. I'll probably be talking more about them in the future as I continue with this challenge and general writing.
Have a good night!
Carey
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