Well, I meant to do this as a video but then I went to the Browns game on Sunday and screamed for 4 hours in 30 degree wind and snow and woke up Monday with no voice. So, no filming until I'm over this. What a way to start the new year, huh? But, I have a big mug of tea with about 6 tablespoons of sugar in front of me as I write this and Backstreet Boys on my Pandora station. That instantly made my night 200% better.
Looking back on 2015, one thing I can say is "Where the hell did it go?" Just like I thought this time in 2014. Time just got away from me... again.
Rather than focus on what I didn't get done, I'll talk about what did happen that I am so happy about.
1) My sister got engaged! My little sis isn't so little anymore. She got engaged to her wonderful guy and in October of this year they will be married. They've been together for several years and they make such a great couple. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to make my sister so happy.
2) I moved out! Yep, 31 years old and I finally moved out of Mom and Dad's over the spring/summer. I live with my boyfriend and his brother. The house isn't big but it's enough for the 3 of us. It's been an adjustment for all of us. I have to watch and keep all my "girly stuff" contained. The basement bathroom is mine for makeup and other personal items. I also have to warn the guys when I leave stuff in the washer or dryer.
3) I found my "lost novel" from NaNo 2013 and rewrote it during NaNo 2015. I've still got a lot to go but it's coming along really well and I'm excited to keep going with it. Right now I'm doing a quick reformatting and revision of "Witches of Coolersville" so I can publish that this year.
4) Returned to ComicCon in Columbus. This time Joe and I went with my best friend and her husband. It was so much fun. Robin and I cosplayed this year! I was the 11th Doctor and she was a Shield Agent. I got an autograph from Jason David Frank and even got a photo with him! I was disappointed he wasn't in his Green Ranger costume because that would have been awesome with my cosplay. Living Fan Fiction! *ponders Doctor Who/MMPR fanfic*
5) I filmed a few great videos this year, including 2 with my friend Lisa. We're definitely going to work on more this year.
So, what do I have to look forward to in 2016?
Well, I'll start with my resolution to be healthier. I received a crockpot for Christmas so I've been looking up recipes. I'm also going to get a Planet Fitness membership so I can work out more. I'll probably do that in the next couple weeks. I want to lose at least a size before my sister's wedding and be in shape to dance the night away and not have to lay in bed the next day in pain like when I went to my sister's friend's wedding in July. I'll talk more about that in my RA blog.
End of February is Cleveland ComicCon. Joe and I are planning to go because Matt Smith and Karen Gillan are supposed to be there! *fangirl squeal* I'm going to be very stingy over the next couple months so I can go and afford autographs and photo ops because they're going to be ridiculously expensive. With the exception of getting the 11 dress from Torrid because it is freaking adorable and I want to wear it to the convention! I just hope the weather is okay. Last year was one of the worst snow days of the year. I'm also trying to talk a few friends into going along who are fellow geeks and Whovians. I think they would enjoy themselves.
If I get the week of my birthday off in May, Joe and I are talking about traveling to Cincinnati for a few days. He wants to show me the University where he went to school and we might go see the Indians play the Reds. I've never been to Cincinnati before so it'll be a fun new experience. My sister has been there several times because one of her best friends lives there. So, I think this will be a great trip.
Columbus ComicCon has been moved to July, instead of the fall. I think we're just going to go for a day this year. Going for the weekend has been too much in energy and cost the past couple years. As fun as it is, sometimes you have to step back and do the responsible adult thing.
I've been helping with my sister's wedding plans. We've got her bridal shower in August and the wedding in October! I can't believe she's getting married! I'm still on the hunt for a bridesmaid dress. I'll see what they have available when prom dresses start to go on sale. Hopefully I can find something a little cheaper.
I'm off to take care of this cough and recover my voice. Wishing everyone a healthy, happy new year.
Carey
Showing posts with label overcoming obstacles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overcoming obstacles. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
All the 2014 Things and Looking Forward to 2015
Wow. Where did the year go? It seems like last week I was hanging out with my friends and family, ready to ring in 2014. I had so much planned in my mind. I was turning 30. I was working on my writing. I was planning on traveling more and doing all kinds of fun and exciting things. And now I'm laying in bed during the first hour of the last day of that year wondering one thing. "What the hell happened to 2014?"
A hashtag began circulating Twitter about two weeks ago. #2014in5words Well, my 5 words are these. "Did not go as planned." This is true for the two major events of this year. My cousin, Dee, passing away in June at only age 44 and my health scare in July when I developed a deep vein clot in my right leg which left me hospitalized for a whole weekend and off work for 6 weeks. (I'm still not 100% from that.) But, these things were not anyone's fault and beyond anyone's control. And, it taught me a few valuable lessons:
1) Treasure every day you have. You never know what's going to happen to you so take an extra minute in the morning and say, "I'm awake. I'm breathing. I'm off to a good start." Even if you're not in the best of health, every day is a new chance so make a point to be healthier and improve your quality of life.
2) Family is everything. Now, I know there are family members we don't get along with. Either we are not that close to them or something went down and we're completely not on speaking terms. Whatever. Everyone has a situation like that. But, when something happens, you know which people in your family (and among your friends) who will stick by you through everything and hold your hand to keep you calm, even when they're terrified right with you. The ones who hold back the tears so you can sob your heart out in their arms. The ones who will cry right along with you and share a box of extra large tissue with you.
3) Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. You can either let it hit you and knock you down or roll with it and continue on as best you can. Yeah, these, and other, things happened. Yeah, some plans got pushed aside or canceled completely. But, as long as I remembered the first two lessons, I was able to keep going and make the best of what did happen that was positive in my life.
I also failed my reading challenge. I had planned to read 50 books. I think my final count was 12? But, I'm not a fast reader and I was distracted with stuff! Like being in the hospital. More on that later.
2014 wasn't all bad. I did have a lot of fun and am nearer to accomplishing a lifelong dream than I ever imagined I would be! I turned 30. My sister and her boyfriend came over and we had cake and ice cream and it's always a bunch of laughs when they're over.
I went to ComicCon again with my boyfriend in Octover., and this time we were able to stay in Columbus so it was like our first vacation together. We were able to wander the city this time and I not only got to see Jason David Frank again but I met Nicholas Brendan for the first time! I even made a new friend named Shaun while standing in line and met this lovely cosplayer/model named Samantha. I bought books from writers and talked about my own work in progress which was really exciting. And, I can't wait til Comic Con comes to Cleveland in February! It's going to be so much fun!
Also this year I finally entered the 21st century and got my first smart phone! Yay technology! I got a Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini. I love this thing. I don't know how I ever lived without a smart phone before. I keep notes and my calendar and pictures. I can blog on it. I can keep up on the social medias easier.
And, finally, the best thing ever! I am just weeks away from publishing my first book! EEEEE!! I received my proof copy of my novella, Witches of Coolersville, on December 23rd, 2014! I'm going over it and plan on making a few changes to the content and the cover. But, it's happening! I'll be a published author in 2015! How exciting is that! I also started book 2 during my second consecutive victorious year participating in NaNoWriMo but it is currently in rewrite because I wrote 50,000 words of slop that I need to clean up in order to have a sequel that is equally as good as the first book.
So, that's an overview of some of the things in 2014. Now, on to 2015!!
Here are some of my goals/resolutions for 2015 (no order)-
1) Reading Challenge- I downloaded from Pinterest this reading challenge that looks like fun and I'll see how far I'll get on it. It's a list of different types of books to read in the coming year, like a book with a single word title. Or, a book with a color in the title. A book that came out the year you were born, that kind of thing. I'll copy the list into another entry so you can take a crack at it as well. It looks like it could be fun and maybe I'll do a better job at that than just picking a number and feeling pressured to meet the goal.
2) Move my rear out of my parents' house! For goodness sake, I'm going to be 31 this year. Time to get a move on. We'll see what the future holds for me in that department. I'll be sure to keep you all posted.
3) Stay healthy- This includes a number of things. Being more active. I'm going to try and take the pup for walks more often. I'm going to buy more juice and lay off the pop. I'll take my medicines and wear my compression braces so I don't end up in the hospital again. All that and more.
4) Continue writing- I'm so close to publishing book 1 and working on book 2. How can I stop now? I've dreamed about being a published author and seeing my name on shelves for years and years and it's finally going to happen!
5) Travel more- Returning to Columbus for ComicCon, taking weekend trips with my boyfriend or my girls. Whether it's just a drive up north to the beach or going out of state, I love to travel and see what else is outside my little town. It could provide more information and inspiration for future stories. And it's just nice to get away.
6) Buy a new computer, editing software, and an actual camcorder for the YouTubes. I'm bored with Windows Movie Maker and my current camera doesn't have the quality I want. And, my computer has certainly seen better days. Time for an upgrade. I'll probably use this one still for some things until it dies on me but I could use something new and better.
Here are my most anticipated things for 2015.
Book- Lion Heart by AC Gaughen. It's the final in the Scarlet trilogy which is a fabulous Robin Hood retelling tale. I've read the first one and when I get my hands on the third in May I'll marathon the whole trilogy.
Movie- Mockingjay Part 2! What more needs to be said?
TV- The Musketeers! Season 2 of the Musketeers is some time in January, I think. I loved the first season and I'm kinda sad Peter Capaldi won't be in it because he makes a wonderful Cardinal. But, he's obviously busy with Doctor Who now so we shall see how the new villain works out. I love me some good looking men with swords.
That's all for me right now. I'll also go ahead and post the 2015 reading challenge. Once I am able to update my web site, I'll have the list there with my progress and titles of what I've read.
Have a safe and happy new year!
Carey
A hashtag began circulating Twitter about two weeks ago. #2014in5words Well, my 5 words are these. "Did not go as planned." This is true for the two major events of this year. My cousin, Dee, passing away in June at only age 44 and my health scare in July when I developed a deep vein clot in my right leg which left me hospitalized for a whole weekend and off work for 6 weeks. (I'm still not 100% from that.) But, these things were not anyone's fault and beyond anyone's control. And, it taught me a few valuable lessons:
1) Treasure every day you have. You never know what's going to happen to you so take an extra minute in the morning and say, "I'm awake. I'm breathing. I'm off to a good start." Even if you're not in the best of health, every day is a new chance so make a point to be healthier and improve your quality of life.
2) Family is everything. Now, I know there are family members we don't get along with. Either we are not that close to them or something went down and we're completely not on speaking terms. Whatever. Everyone has a situation like that. But, when something happens, you know which people in your family (and among your friends) who will stick by you through everything and hold your hand to keep you calm, even when they're terrified right with you. The ones who hold back the tears so you can sob your heart out in their arms. The ones who will cry right along with you and share a box of extra large tissue with you.
3) Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. You can either let it hit you and knock you down or roll with it and continue on as best you can. Yeah, these, and other, things happened. Yeah, some plans got pushed aside or canceled completely. But, as long as I remembered the first two lessons, I was able to keep going and make the best of what did happen that was positive in my life.
I also failed my reading challenge. I had planned to read 50 books. I think my final count was 12? But, I'm not a fast reader and I was distracted with stuff! Like being in the hospital. More on that later.
2014 wasn't all bad. I did have a lot of fun and am nearer to accomplishing a lifelong dream than I ever imagined I would be! I turned 30. My sister and her boyfriend came over and we had cake and ice cream and it's always a bunch of laughs when they're over.
I went to ComicCon again with my boyfriend in Octover., and this time we were able to stay in Columbus so it was like our first vacation together. We were able to wander the city this time and I not only got to see Jason David Frank again but I met Nicholas Brendan for the first time! I even made a new friend named Shaun while standing in line and met this lovely cosplayer/model named Samantha. I bought books from writers and talked about my own work in progress which was really exciting. And, I can't wait til Comic Con comes to Cleveland in February! It's going to be so much fun!
Also this year I finally entered the 21st century and got my first smart phone! Yay technology! I got a Samsung Galaxy S4 Mini. I love this thing. I don't know how I ever lived without a smart phone before. I keep notes and my calendar and pictures. I can blog on it. I can keep up on the social medias easier.
And, finally, the best thing ever! I am just weeks away from publishing my first book! EEEEE!! I received my proof copy of my novella, Witches of Coolersville, on December 23rd, 2014! I'm going over it and plan on making a few changes to the content and the cover. But, it's happening! I'll be a published author in 2015! How exciting is that! I also started book 2 during my second consecutive victorious year participating in NaNoWriMo but it is currently in rewrite because I wrote 50,000 words of slop that I need to clean up in order to have a sequel that is equally as good as the first book.
So, that's an overview of some of the things in 2014. Now, on to 2015!!
Here are some of my goals/resolutions for 2015 (no order)-
1) Reading Challenge- I downloaded from Pinterest this reading challenge that looks like fun and I'll see how far I'll get on it. It's a list of different types of books to read in the coming year, like a book with a single word title. Or, a book with a color in the title. A book that came out the year you were born, that kind of thing. I'll copy the list into another entry so you can take a crack at it as well. It looks like it could be fun and maybe I'll do a better job at that than just picking a number and feeling pressured to meet the goal.
2) Move my rear out of my parents' house! For goodness sake, I'm going to be 31 this year. Time to get a move on. We'll see what the future holds for me in that department. I'll be sure to keep you all posted.
3) Stay healthy- This includes a number of things. Being more active. I'm going to try and take the pup for walks more often. I'm going to buy more juice and lay off the pop. I'll take my medicines and wear my compression braces so I don't end up in the hospital again. All that and more.
4) Continue writing- I'm so close to publishing book 1 and working on book 2. How can I stop now? I've dreamed about being a published author and seeing my name on shelves for years and years and it's finally going to happen!
5) Travel more- Returning to Columbus for ComicCon, taking weekend trips with my boyfriend or my girls. Whether it's just a drive up north to the beach or going out of state, I love to travel and see what else is outside my little town. It could provide more information and inspiration for future stories. And it's just nice to get away.
6) Buy a new computer, editing software, and an actual camcorder for the YouTubes. I'm bored with Windows Movie Maker and my current camera doesn't have the quality I want. And, my computer has certainly seen better days. Time for an upgrade. I'll probably use this one still for some things until it dies on me but I could use something new and better.
Here are my most anticipated things for 2015.
Book- Lion Heart by AC Gaughen. It's the final in the Scarlet trilogy which is a fabulous Robin Hood retelling tale. I've read the first one and when I get my hands on the third in May I'll marathon the whole trilogy.
Movie- Mockingjay Part 2! What more needs to be said?
TV- The Musketeers! Season 2 of the Musketeers is some time in January, I think. I loved the first season and I'm kinda sad Peter Capaldi won't be in it because he makes a wonderful Cardinal. But, he's obviously busy with Doctor Who now so we shall see how the new villain works out. I love me some good looking men with swords.
That's all for me right now. I'll also go ahead and post the 2015 reading challenge. Once I am able to update my web site, I'll have the list there with my progress and titles of what I've read.
Have a safe and happy new year!
Carey
Friday, September 12, 2014
September Writing Challenge- Day 12
Prompt- What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
This is a big one I experience a lot at work and when I was in school. And, I think it applies to many people.
It's a common misconception about quiet people. Quiet = weak/submissive/insert similar adjectives here But we're not. Being quiet, at least for me, means I know how to hold my tongue. Or, I have no other choice but to do so in some cases. Like at my day job, for example. I work with the public. I really have to censor myself. When a customer is nasty with me and thinks because I work at a grocery store, I am stupid and he/she can just disrespect and trash talk me over something trivial, I have to hush until I go on break or go home. Then, I can sit in the car for a few minutes and say everything I wanted to say to the person's face but couldn't because I'd be fired.
This doesn't mean I haven't slipped. There is a coworker I'm always knocking heads with. I've mentioned her before in previous posts. (Enjoying two weeks of her being on vacation. *happy dance*) She has spread rumors about how I fake my health issues just to get out of work or gain sympathy. She has accused me of mouthing off to her when I've said nothing, in an attempt to not scream out that I think she's a fire breathing bitch to her face. But, even the most patient people have a limit of what they can take and I did lose my temper with her once. She snapped at me over something stupid and I was trying to keep quiet. She thought I mumbled something and was getting on my case. I told her I didn't say anything. She wouldn't drop it. She started talking about it to another coworker who 1) is a friend of mine and 2) was still well within earshot. I couldn't take it anymore. Customers were overhearing the names she was calling me and I was being humiliated. I shouted, "I didn't say anything to you so back off. You are acting like an idiot child talking about me five feet away and in front of customers." My friend was a little frightened. She told me later she had never seen me lose my temper before and I said it was really hard to keep myself from completely let loose because I probably would have inserted a few expletives while I was yelling. But, she was already being inappropriate so I didn't want to play her game. Someone had to be the bigger person.
I describe my temper as a volcano. Dormant, quiet, patient usually. But, each time I'm pushed, the pressure builds and it gets harder and harder to stay quiet until BOOM! It's 1980 Mt. St. Helen. I think it was because I stayed quiet for so many years as a kid/teen and it did little to no good for me. About time I learned to stand up for myself.
And, this runs in the family. My mom is the same. And when family is involved, it's even harder for us to keep quiet because we're, for the most part, a close-knit bunch. A few years ago, some family members were insulted and hurt by someone and my mother went off. She had been wanting to say what she said for many years and was finally pushed to the point where she didn't care anymore and got it all out. She always tries to be the peacekeeper of the family. "Let's work it out like civil people." But, when someone you love is hurt, verbally or otherwise, you jump right in and defend them to the moon and back.
Now you know!
Thanks for reading.
Carey
This is a big one I experience a lot at work and when I was in school. And, I think it applies to many people.
It's a common misconception about quiet people. Quiet = weak/submissive/insert similar adjectives here But we're not. Being quiet, at least for me, means I know how to hold my tongue. Or, I have no other choice but to do so in some cases. Like at my day job, for example. I work with the public. I really have to censor myself. When a customer is nasty with me and thinks because I work at a grocery store, I am stupid and he/she can just disrespect and trash talk me over something trivial, I have to hush until I go on break or go home. Then, I can sit in the car for a few minutes and say everything I wanted to say to the person's face but couldn't because I'd be fired.
This doesn't mean I haven't slipped. There is a coworker I'm always knocking heads with. I've mentioned her before in previous posts. (Enjoying two weeks of her being on vacation. *happy dance*) She has spread rumors about how I fake my health issues just to get out of work or gain sympathy. She has accused me of mouthing off to her when I've said nothing, in an attempt to not scream out that I think she's a fire breathing bitch to her face. But, even the most patient people have a limit of what they can take and I did lose my temper with her once. She snapped at me over something stupid and I was trying to keep quiet. She thought I mumbled something and was getting on my case. I told her I didn't say anything. She wouldn't drop it. She started talking about it to another coworker who 1) is a friend of mine and 2) was still well within earshot. I couldn't take it anymore. Customers were overhearing the names she was calling me and I was being humiliated. I shouted, "I didn't say anything to you so back off. You are acting like an idiot child talking about me five feet away and in front of customers." My friend was a little frightened. She told me later she had never seen me lose my temper before and I said it was really hard to keep myself from completely let loose because I probably would have inserted a few expletives while I was yelling. But, she was already being inappropriate so I didn't want to play her game. Someone had to be the bigger person.
I describe my temper as a volcano. Dormant, quiet, patient usually. But, each time I'm pushed, the pressure builds and it gets harder and harder to stay quiet until BOOM! It's 1980 Mt. St. Helen. I think it was because I stayed quiet for so many years as a kid/teen and it did little to no good for me. About time I learned to stand up for myself.
And, this runs in the family. My mom is the same. And when family is involved, it's even harder for us to keep quiet because we're, for the most part, a close-knit bunch. A few years ago, some family members were insulted and hurt by someone and my mother went off. She had been wanting to say what she said for many years and was finally pushed to the point where she didn't care anymore and got it all out. She always tries to be the peacekeeper of the family. "Let's work it out like civil people." But, when someone you love is hurt, verbally or otherwise, you jump right in and defend them to the moon and back.
Now you know!
Thanks for reading.
Carey
Thursday, September 11, 2014
September Writing Challenge- Day 11
Prompt- What was this day in 2001 like for you?
When I was planning these prompts, I came across this one worded slightly differently and I debated it for today. I thought, 9/11, of course. But, would it be cliche? Because a lot of people are probably writing about this day and how it changed their lives. But, then I thought, that's sad that I would even consider it being cliche. Because it's not. It's a day that we should continue to remember, like Pearl Harbor or Oklahoma City. Because, while it is a tragedy, it impacted the world in so many ways and, maybe for a brief moment, brought people together under a cause.
Over the years, some of the details have faded in my memory but I know where I was and what I was doing on that horrible day. I was a senior in high school. I left my first class to set up banners from the day before. The 9th grade retreat was that Monday and there were banners and crafts the freshmen class had created so some of the retreat team were displaying them in the cafeteria for the rest of the school to see. When I returned to my class to get my books, they were airing when the President was informed at the school in Florida. I didn't know what was going on until I got to my second class, which was Web Design. My teacher filled me in and had the news on, as long as we promised to try and get our work done.
And, that was when we saw the second tower get hit and then they both fell. It was the most frightening thing I had ever seen in my 17 years of life. I remembered reading a story about a clothing factory in New York that caught fire in the early years of the last century and how the girls trapped inside were leaping from the window because the elevator didn't work. Everyone above where the planes hit, they had no way out and some did jump. And, the people who were still making their way down when the towers fell. My next thought was, "Oh, dear God, be with all those people trapped inside and now dying!" I couldn't focus on my work. I was fixated to the screen. I prayed harder than I ever prayed in my life. I was scared for all those people. I was scared about what would happen next. When we heard about the Pentagon, I was worried about where something would happen next. And, later that day to find the plane that crashed in PA was in Cleveland!
The day passed by in a blur. My remaining third class, choir, we couldn't watch anything. But, my final class, we watched the news. When the bell rang at 2:30, I went to catch my bus but my mom was there to get me. We picked up my sister and went home. After dinner, we watched the news while doing homework and then we all curled up on the couch together like when we were little. I think I remember my sister asking why this happened and the only explanation my parents could give was that there are some evil people in the world who don't want the rest of us to be happy. They want people to be scared. Makes them feel powerful. It was as good an explanation as any to a 17 and 12 year old, I guess.
But, then, when Congress gathered on the steps of the Capitol and sang God Bless America... together, forgetting differences in party and opinion, I remembered that good exists and what we need to work on doing is make sure the good always outweighs the evil.
I know that can be hard when there are organizations of hate like ISIS in the Mid East and the Klan here. When children are committing suicide for being gay or an autistic boy is having human waste dumped on him in a sadistic prank when he thought he was doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. When football athletes, who are viewed as role models for young boys, beat their spouses. Certain organizations who are supposed to follow Christian teachings protest funerals of soldiers and say they are going to hell because they fought for their country. Stories like that seem to flood our headlines and it makes the world into a frightening place to be. I've often caught myself saying, I don't think I want to bring children into a world like this. But, then I see the joy in my best friend's toddler when he's playing with my boyfriend on our occasional visits. I get a hug from a little girl who sees me every day in the store. I see organizations like NOH8, the No Body Shame Campaign, and Eliminate Prejudice all fighting for equality and against bullying based on gender, orientation, body type, race, and religion/beliefs. If only those positive things received more press than the negative.
If we could focus on the good, it would not eliminate the bad but it maybe it would help future generations see there are better ways to spend their time and better causes to fight for.
Thanks for reading.
Carey
When I was planning these prompts, I came across this one worded slightly differently and I debated it for today. I thought, 9/11, of course. But, would it be cliche? Because a lot of people are probably writing about this day and how it changed their lives. But, then I thought, that's sad that I would even consider it being cliche. Because it's not. It's a day that we should continue to remember, like Pearl Harbor or Oklahoma City. Because, while it is a tragedy, it impacted the world in so many ways and, maybe for a brief moment, brought people together under a cause.
Over the years, some of the details have faded in my memory but I know where I was and what I was doing on that horrible day. I was a senior in high school. I left my first class to set up banners from the day before. The 9th grade retreat was that Monday and there were banners and crafts the freshmen class had created so some of the retreat team were displaying them in the cafeteria for the rest of the school to see. When I returned to my class to get my books, they were airing when the President was informed at the school in Florida. I didn't know what was going on until I got to my second class, which was Web Design. My teacher filled me in and had the news on, as long as we promised to try and get our work done.
And, that was when we saw the second tower get hit and then they both fell. It was the most frightening thing I had ever seen in my 17 years of life. I remembered reading a story about a clothing factory in New York that caught fire in the early years of the last century and how the girls trapped inside were leaping from the window because the elevator didn't work. Everyone above where the planes hit, they had no way out and some did jump. And, the people who were still making their way down when the towers fell. My next thought was, "Oh, dear God, be with all those people trapped inside and now dying!" I couldn't focus on my work. I was fixated to the screen. I prayed harder than I ever prayed in my life. I was scared for all those people. I was scared about what would happen next. When we heard about the Pentagon, I was worried about where something would happen next. And, later that day to find the plane that crashed in PA was in Cleveland!
The day passed by in a blur. My remaining third class, choir, we couldn't watch anything. But, my final class, we watched the news. When the bell rang at 2:30, I went to catch my bus but my mom was there to get me. We picked up my sister and went home. After dinner, we watched the news while doing homework and then we all curled up on the couch together like when we were little. I think I remember my sister asking why this happened and the only explanation my parents could give was that there are some evil people in the world who don't want the rest of us to be happy. They want people to be scared. Makes them feel powerful. It was as good an explanation as any to a 17 and 12 year old, I guess.
But, then, when Congress gathered on the steps of the Capitol and sang God Bless America... together, forgetting differences in party and opinion, I remembered that good exists and what we need to work on doing is make sure the good always outweighs the evil.
I know that can be hard when there are organizations of hate like ISIS in the Mid East and the Klan here. When children are committing suicide for being gay or an autistic boy is having human waste dumped on him in a sadistic prank when he thought he was doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. When football athletes, who are viewed as role models for young boys, beat their spouses. Certain organizations who are supposed to follow Christian teachings protest funerals of soldiers and say they are going to hell because they fought for their country. Stories like that seem to flood our headlines and it makes the world into a frightening place to be. I've often caught myself saying, I don't think I want to bring children into a world like this. But, then I see the joy in my best friend's toddler when he's playing with my boyfriend on our occasional visits. I get a hug from a little girl who sees me every day in the store. I see organizations like NOH8, the No Body Shame Campaign, and Eliminate Prejudice all fighting for equality and against bullying based on gender, orientation, body type, race, and religion/beliefs. If only those positive things received more press than the negative.
If we could focus on the good, it would not eliminate the bad but it maybe it would help future generations see there are better ways to spend their time and better causes to fight for.
Thanks for reading.
Carey
Saturday, September 6, 2014
September Writing Challenge- Day 6
Prompt- My life would be easier if...
This is a hard one. Do I really have to pick one reason? But, if I do make a list, would this turn readers off because I'm complaining too much? So, I'm just going to pick one.
My life would be easier if... I didn't have rheumatoid arthritis. I hate the fact that I am 30 years old but 5 out of 7 days of the week I feel like a miserable, 90 year old woman. If I go out with my friends and we go walking or dancing, I can't move the next day. To relieve the pain and slow down the damage on my joints, I have to take medication that can cause a bazillion other issues because of side effects. One of them is actually a medication used in higher doses as a chemo therapy. So, my hair is thinning to the point that it only looks decent if I keep it cut super short. And I love long hair. I miss long hair! But, now, I can't even put my hair in a pony tail anymore.
Another medication I'm on is a weekly injection that can destroy my immune system. So, I have to be really careful when I get sick. I even got a flu shot for the first time ever last winter and am getting it again this year. (At least I get it free through work) Bad enough I have a condition where my body is attacking itself. So, give me something that makes my immune system even weaker. What's the point of that? I almost hate to say that it does help me. But, it does. I just wish they could come up with something that didn't have such horrible side effects.
Another thing that drives me crazy is the attitudes I get from people. Rheumatoid arthritis is classified as an "invisible disease." It's not like getting the chicken pox. Okay, maybe that's a bad example but it's the first thing to pop into my brain. And, there are good days and bad. One thing I think that ruined it for me, at least at work, was a few years ago when I danced like crazy at a work Christmas party and then the next day could not move for almost a week. So, people see me hobble and think I was out partying or something and am just whining.
And, the once coworker who always gives me a hard time is just a bitch, which is the most likely scenario. This woman actually accused me (not to my face, of course, but to someone ten feet away) of faking being in pain and exhausted. One of the misconceptions is that people hear "arthritis" and think old people. But, there are other types. Osteoarthritis is, generally, the old people arthritis. Not saying younger people can't get it. If there are underlying causes, it is possible but it's rarer. Rheumatoid can effect anyone. Even children! I'm on a few Facebook groups where I can talk to other people and get their experiences and vent to people who understand and are in my situation or worse. And there are a number of parents who have children with this horrible condition and my heart just goes out to them.
There are ways to keep this condition in check. There is no cure but remission is a possibility. Watching your diet- I've been on a serious low sodium diet for a month now. I should have done it a long time ago but it took a blood clot and doctor's orders to get me to be serious about it. Salt increases inflammation. I can feel it whenever I have pepperoni pizza. Exercise can keep your muscles and joints strong. But, mostly low impact like light walking or swimming. Because heavy duty exercise can do more harm than good. I love swimming, though. After a long day, to go to the rec and jump in the pool feels so refreshing and wonderful. In the winter, I go to the rec after work, sit in the hot tub for ten minutes (the amount of time the jets last) and then jump into the pool. The temperature difference is a nice shock to the system and feels so good. I was able to walk around Key West after doing this last time I was in Florida.
I still miss the days when I could go all day long- shop, swim, walk, eat junk- and not end the day in pain. I never knew what the last half of my 20s was supposed to feel like! And 30 hasn't had an especially spectacular start.
But, I'm working on it. I have my days where I want someone to cut off my legs but my family supports me and keeps me going. I hope there are people out there with the same love and support I do.
This is a hard one. Do I really have to pick one reason? But, if I do make a list, would this turn readers off because I'm complaining too much? So, I'm just going to pick one.
My life would be easier if... I didn't have rheumatoid arthritis. I hate the fact that I am 30 years old but 5 out of 7 days of the week I feel like a miserable, 90 year old woman. If I go out with my friends and we go walking or dancing, I can't move the next day. To relieve the pain and slow down the damage on my joints, I have to take medication that can cause a bazillion other issues because of side effects. One of them is actually a medication used in higher doses as a chemo therapy. So, my hair is thinning to the point that it only looks decent if I keep it cut super short. And I love long hair. I miss long hair! But, now, I can't even put my hair in a pony tail anymore.
Another medication I'm on is a weekly injection that can destroy my immune system. So, I have to be really careful when I get sick. I even got a flu shot for the first time ever last winter and am getting it again this year. (At least I get it free through work) Bad enough I have a condition where my body is attacking itself. So, give me something that makes my immune system even weaker. What's the point of that? I almost hate to say that it does help me. But, it does. I just wish they could come up with something that didn't have such horrible side effects.
Another thing that drives me crazy is the attitudes I get from people. Rheumatoid arthritis is classified as an "invisible disease." It's not like getting the chicken pox. Okay, maybe that's a bad example but it's the first thing to pop into my brain. And, there are good days and bad. One thing I think that ruined it for me, at least at work, was a few years ago when I danced like crazy at a work Christmas party and then the next day could not move for almost a week. So, people see me hobble and think I was out partying or something and am just whining.
And, the once coworker who always gives me a hard time is just a bitch, which is the most likely scenario. This woman actually accused me (not to my face, of course, but to someone ten feet away) of faking being in pain and exhausted. One of the misconceptions is that people hear "arthritis" and think old people. But, there are other types. Osteoarthritis is, generally, the old people arthritis. Not saying younger people can't get it. If there are underlying causes, it is possible but it's rarer. Rheumatoid can effect anyone. Even children! I'm on a few Facebook groups where I can talk to other people and get their experiences and vent to people who understand and are in my situation or worse. And there are a number of parents who have children with this horrible condition and my heart just goes out to them.
There are ways to keep this condition in check. There is no cure but remission is a possibility. Watching your diet- I've been on a serious low sodium diet for a month now. I should have done it a long time ago but it took a blood clot and doctor's orders to get me to be serious about it. Salt increases inflammation. I can feel it whenever I have pepperoni pizza. Exercise can keep your muscles and joints strong. But, mostly low impact like light walking or swimming. Because heavy duty exercise can do more harm than good. I love swimming, though. After a long day, to go to the rec and jump in the pool feels so refreshing and wonderful. In the winter, I go to the rec after work, sit in the hot tub for ten minutes (the amount of time the jets last) and then jump into the pool. The temperature difference is a nice shock to the system and feels so good. I was able to walk around Key West after doing this last time I was in Florida.
I still miss the days when I could go all day long- shop, swim, walk, eat junk- and not end the day in pain. I never knew what the last half of my 20s was supposed to feel like! And 30 hasn't had an especially spectacular start.
But, I'm working on it. I have my days where I want someone to cut off my legs but my family supports me and keeps me going. I hope there are people out there with the same love and support I do.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Reflections on Family
 |
| Me with some of my older cousins. Christmas long ago. |
Family has always been very important to me. I've been brought up in a very close knit, immediate family. My parents, sister and I moved in with my paternal grandmother when I was 8 years old after my grandfather and uncle died within a few months of each other. Obviously, Gram took it extremely hard, having to bury her husband and son so close together. So, we did what we could to help her out.
Now, I know not all families are like on Full House or the Brady Bunch where everything is perfect and no one ever argues and all issues are resolved right away with a kiss and "I love you" and life goes on. Yeah... no. I can say from just my sister and I alone how we fought like a couple of street cats on a near daily basis until my sister was about 17 and graduating high school. And we still have our moments when we fight and drive each other crazy with stupid sh*t. But, we work it out. Because we look at other members of our family, people who argued and got mad over really stupid sh*t or some misunderstanding or some fabricated wrong that could have been resolved right away when the real reason was minor but festered and was embellished over the years into this seething loathing, and we swore we didn't want to be like that. EVER. So, we have our argument, cool down for a day or two if need be, and then work on whatever we can to resolve the issue and be friends again.
And we've tried to share that thinking with other members of our family. Some cousins we are really close to. It's not always easy to keep in touch. Social media does help. Especially when you have family on the other end of the country and you maybe get to see them once a year. But, we try our hardest not to let stupid, minor issues get between us.
 |
| Family Baseball Game Me, sis, Dad and cousins and uncle photobombing in the background |
Sure, we tease each other. It's what families do. We'll spend whole holiday dinners ragging on each other. And we'll embellish the story to make the person turn red. Like, the one time, when my one cousin bumped into my aunt. He literally did not see her because she's really small. He turned, she was there, and he bumped her in the head. So, over the years, we've added on to make it seem like he plowed into her like he was a football linebacker or something. He laughs and rolls with it and my aunt will shake her fist and say "I'm still plotting my revenge" and it's all good fun. When another cousin had her wisdoms out before Christmas couple years ago and was still swollen, someone bought her a Chippette doll as a joke. She laughed, even though it hurt her mouth. She took it pretty well. Or, just before Easter, my one aunt said something about how I had the best aunt ever (meaning her) and I said my other aunt was the best. So, all through Easter dinner, they would bring up embarrassing stories about me because I brought Boy along and they wanted to see me turn red. It kind of backfired because he was engrossed in the baseball game. Completely didn't hear what was being said. And that's how we keep things light and funny.
But, there's a line between "funny haha teasing" and being downright mean. And maybe some people don't mean to be mean. They'll say something in a way they think is trying to help. And it gets blown out of proportion. I knew a girl back in high school. She was a tall, curvy girl, like me. Her great-aunt would come from out of town couple times a year to visit. She worked at a department store and would always bring stuff that she bought on sale plus her employee discount. (She was a hoarder trying to pass off her junk) But, she always brought stuff that was size Small, Extra Small, maaaybe a medium or two. My friend couldn't wear it. She'd always end up giving it to other relatives who were smaller. Last time this aunt visited, she was saying her good byes, stood my friend in front of her, put her hands on the girl's hips and said "I want you 100 pounds lighter next time I see you." Now, her grandmother was also visiting at the time, heard this, and began a screaming match in the driveway with her sister, my friend's great aunt. The two sisters never spoke again. When the grandmother died, and the aunt was called and informed, she basically said "Oh, that sucks" and hung up. Didn't even attend her own sister's funeral. All because of a situation that could have been handled SO much differently. Now, both parties were at fault in this, my friend and I agree. The aunt shouldn't have said what she said, or she could have at least been a little nicer about it. And the grandmother didn't have to start a screaming match. They BOTH should have been on the phone after a day or two of cooling down, and resolving the problem. So, when I hear stories like that, I think how I wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't talk to my sister or any of my cousins.
 |
| Sis and I acting goofy for the camera Christmas 2013 |
One thing I think helps keep us all together is we try to do big family events. We were trying to get Jersey Boy tickets for a girls night. Last year we did a baseball game together. My west coast family was in town, we got 25 tickets for whoever could come, and met up for the game. It was also dollar dog night. Best time to go with 20+ people because everyone can get fed for cheap... ish. Everything else is still cray expensive at the ballpark. I think my sis, Mom, and I split the soda. We got the massive souvenir cup with refills and passed it between us. We want to plan a bowling night sometime this summer. That'll be great, seeing as I'm hilariously bad at bowling. Maybe the Boy can give me some pointers. He's on a league and is really good. But, these big events help the core group of us get together, hang out, catch up on life in between birthdays and holidays and big family reunions.
Communication is also huge for us. I've mentioned social media- my cousin on the other end of the country and his wife and kids are all on Facebook and always posting pictures. Some of my younger cousins have Instagram. We also text each other like crazy and my mom and her sisters talk on conference call nearly every night. And, I can so see my sister and I doing the same thing in the future. Maybe not conference calls but Skype or something like that.
 |
| "Hey, Mom, Dad. Pose for a nice picture." *hide* -.- |
The strength of my family is incredible. We've banded together for good times like weddings and graduations, surprise birthday parties. And held each other up while we watched loved ones weaken and pass on to God either from cancer or some other illnesses. We've cried and blamed God and wondered why but, in the end, we know we still have those memories and we cherish them as much as we can and so when we have a wedding or a birthday we are able to celebrate those moments all the more because we know how precious those occasions can be and we don't know how many we're given.
Okay, emotional exhaustion is taking over right now. I need to nab a few hours sleep so I can function at work tomorrow without breaking down. Just wanted to talk a bit about my family and how awesome they are. What about your families? Share some stories in the comment box below.
Also, and I said this on Twitter earlier today but I'm saying it again. Treasure your family. They may drive you crazy but they're all you've got that really matters. Take an extra couple minutes to call that uncle in California. Or Grandma in Florida. Work things out. Don't hold grudges. Say "I love you" whenever you can. Because you never know what can happen and that moment's hesitation might make things too late.
Take care, guys. Thanks for reading.
~Carey
Monday, March 17, 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge Day 18
"A Problem I've Had"
One problem I've always struggled with is speaking in front of groups. Public speaking has, for some reason, always terrified me. I've taken speech classes in high school and college. I've been required to give presentations in class. But I always have trouble. I get a tight feeling in my chest. I feel light headed. I can't breathe. That awful knot in the stomach. It's horrible.
And I can't understand why. I was in musical theater as a kid and did really well. I was a young member so all the big roles usually went to the older kids. But I could step on stage in front of a high school auditorium thay sat 1000 people and not think twice about it. But give me a speech in front of 100 people and I want to faint. Even if it's written out, word for word and by me.
Last spring, I had to say a few words at Church to try and get people to be more involved. I spent 2 weeks writing it. Even got my parents to help me. I'd write something, read it to them (and be fine) and take any of their suggestions on how to improve it. I was almost excited about it... Until it was time to step up and speak. Then it all started.
I've been given all kinds of tips, too. Dad told me to take a moment before I speak, look at everyone in the audience and (silently) say "I don't care about your opinion." And then start the speech. He says it takes the pressure off because you're not worried about them judging you. Well, I never cared what people thought, anyway. Someone else told me to treat it like I'm back in my theater days. I am playing a part and the speech or presentation is my big monologue. Tried that, too. Although, I like that advice better. (Sorry, Dad)
I know this is something I need to get over. Especially, if I am to be a professional author. How am I going to give presentations on my latest books? Or give speeches at signings and events like that? So, I am just going to have to keep trying and practicing and then, eventually, maybe I won't be so nervous.
Carey
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)