 |
Me with some of my older cousins.
Christmas long ago. |
So, as I said in a previous post, my novel is delayed due to a situation and for privacy sake, I will not go into any details. But, I have been doing a lot of thinking, especially today, and in order for my brain to settle down so I can either work on my novel or sleep I wanted to express these thoughts however possible. I had thought of doing a video but I'm a little emotional right now and really don't want myself crying for the world to see. I don't mind getting personal... just not THAT personal.
Family has always been very important to me. I've been brought up in a very close knit, immediate family. My parents, sister and I moved in with my paternal grandmother when I was 8 years old after my grandfather and uncle died within a few months of each other. Obviously, Gram took it extremely hard, having to bury her husband and son so close together. So, we did what we could to help her out.
Now, I know not all families are like on Full House or the Brady Bunch where everything is perfect and no one ever argues and all issues are resolved right away with a kiss and "I love you" and life goes on. Yeah... no. I can say from just my sister and I alone how we fought like a couple of street cats on a near daily basis until my sister was about 17 and graduating high school. And we still have our moments when we fight and drive each other crazy with stupid sh*t. But, we work it out. Because we look at other members of our family, people who argued and got mad over really stupid sh*t or some misunderstanding or some fabricated wrong that could have been resolved right away when the real reason was minor but festered and was embellished over the years into this seething loathing, and we swore we didn't want to be like that. EVER. So, we have our argument, cool down for a day or two if need be, and then work on whatever we can to resolve the issue and be friends again.
And we've tried to share that thinking with other members of our family. Some cousins we are really close to. It's not always easy to keep in touch. Social media does help. Especially when you have family on the other end of the country and you maybe get to see them once a year. But, we try our hardest not to let stupid, minor issues get between us.
 |
Family Baseball Game
Me, sis, Dad and cousins and uncle
photobombing in the background |
Sure, we tease each other. It's what families do. We'll spend whole holiday dinners ragging on each other. And we'll embellish the story to make the person turn red. Like, the one time, when my one cousin bumped into my aunt. He literally did not see her because she's really small. He turned, she was there, and he bumped her in the head. So, over the years, we've added on to make it seem like he plowed into her like he was a football linebacker or something. He laughs and rolls with it and my aunt will shake her fist and say "I'm still plotting my revenge" and it's all good fun. When another cousin had her wisdoms out before Christmas couple years ago and was still swollen, someone bought her a Chippette doll as a joke. She laughed, even though it hurt her mouth. She took it pretty well. Or, just before Easter, my one aunt said something about how I had the best aunt ever (meaning her) and I said my other aunt was the best. So, all through Easter dinner, they would bring up embarrassing stories about me because I brought Boy along and they wanted to see me turn red. It kind of backfired because he was engrossed in the baseball game. Completely didn't hear what was being said. And that's how we keep things light and funny.
But, there's a line between "funny haha teasing" and being downright mean. And maybe some people don't mean to be mean. They'll say something in a way they think is trying to help. And it gets blown out of proportion. I knew a girl back in high school. She was a tall, curvy girl, like me. Her great-aunt would come from out of town couple times a year to visit. She worked at a department store and would always bring stuff that she bought on sale plus her employee discount. (She was a hoarder trying to pass off her junk) But, she always brought stuff that was size Small, Extra Small, maaaybe a medium or two. My friend couldn't wear it. She'd always end up giving it to other relatives who were smaller. Last time this aunt visited, she was saying her good byes, stood my friend in front of her, put her hands on the girl's hips and said "I want you 100 pounds lighter next time I see you." Now, her grandmother was also visiting at the time, heard this, and began a screaming match in the driveway with her sister, my friend's great aunt. The two sisters never spoke again. When the grandmother died, and the aunt was called and informed, she basically said "Oh, that sucks" and hung up. Didn't even attend her own sister's funeral. All because of a situation that could have been handled SO much differently. Now, both parties were at fault in this, my friend and I agree. The aunt shouldn't have said what she said, or she could have at least been a little nicer about it. And the grandmother didn't have to start a screaming match. They BOTH should have been on the phone after a day or two of cooling down, and resolving the problem. So, when I hear stories like that, I think how I wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't talk to my sister or any of my cousins.
 |
Sis and I acting goofy for the camera
Christmas 2013 |
One thing I think helps keep us all together is we try to do big family events. We were trying to get Jersey Boy tickets for a girls night. Last year we did a baseball game together. My west coast family was in town, we got 25 tickets for whoever could come, and met up for the game. It was also dollar dog night. Best time to go with 20+ people because everyone can get fed for cheap... ish. Everything else is still cray expensive at the ballpark. I think my sis, Mom, and I split the soda. We got the massive souvenir cup with refills and passed it between us. We want to plan a bowling night sometime this summer. That'll be great, seeing as I'm hilariously bad at bowling. Maybe the Boy can give me some pointers. He's on a league and is really good. But, these big events help the core group of us get together, hang out, catch up on life in between birthdays and holidays and big family reunions.
Communication is also huge for us. I've mentioned social media- my cousin on the other end of the country and his wife and kids are all on Facebook and always posting pictures. Some of my younger cousins have Instagram. We also text each other like crazy and my mom and her sisters talk on conference call nearly every night. And, I can so see my sister and I doing the same thing in the future. Maybe not conference calls but Skype or something like that.
 |
"Hey, Mom, Dad. Pose for a nice
picture." *hide* -.- |
My family loves food. Every family gathering, be it holidays, birthdays, family reunions, there is always a crap-ton of food. Like, rich, fattening, hearty, need to run ten miles to burn off a bite, good food. My mom's family is Polish and my dad's is a mixture of various parts of Europe and possibly some Irish. Haven't figured it all out yet. But all regions of really good, carb-filled food. Especially bakery. My grandmother made the BEST chocolate chip cookies in the world! My sister can recreate Gram's cheesecake recipe to
perfection. We'll get together for a whole day and make from-scratch pierogies! Food is comfort. Food brings people together. Food is memories of Grandma's house with a freezer full of stuffed cabbage for a big party someone was having. If you don't have someone who can cook, go learn. You will be the most popular person at every gathering.
The strength of my family is incredible. We've banded together for good times like weddings and graduations, surprise birthday parties. And held each other up while we watched loved ones weaken and pass on to God either from cancer or some other illnesses. We've cried and blamed God and wondered why but, in the end, we know we still have those memories and we cherish them as much as we can and so when we have a wedding or a birthday we are able to celebrate those moments all the more because we know how precious those occasions can be and we don't know how many we're given.
Okay, emotional exhaustion is taking over right now. I need to nab a few hours sleep so I can function at work tomorrow without breaking down. Just wanted to talk a bit about my family and how awesome they are. What about your families? Share some stories in the comment box below.
Also, and I said this on Twitter earlier today but I'm saying it again. Treasure your family. They may drive you crazy but they're all you've got that really matters. Take an extra couple minutes to call that uncle in California. Or Grandma in Florida. Work things out. Don't hold grudges. Say "I love you" whenever you can. Because you never know what can happen and that moment's hesitation might make things too late.
Take care, guys. Thanks for reading.
~Carey
