"Something I Feel Strongly About"
Hi everyone!
This took a lot of thought because the topic I want to discuss today is very close to the heart for me and I really had to try and reign in my emotions in order to have a coherent entry.
I feel very strongly about bullying. Anti-bullying awareness and policies for prevention. Also, letting victims know that they don't have to put up with it. Stand up or yourself. Don't believe what people say because you know in your heart that what they say isn't true.
Let's face it. People are brutal. Kids and adults alike. In my experience, I've both witnessed and been on the receiving end of bullying/harassment/discrimination/whatever title you want to use for this. In school, since about the sixth grade, through to the present day in my current work environment.
I've been called "Fat," "cow," "ugly," "dumb ass," "worthless." I've had glue put in my hair. I've been humiliated by students, teachers, customers, and coworkers. I've had a friend get beaten up for being associated with me. I've had students spread rumors about me and my best friend. Another friend I've known forever was insulted by his own family because he came out when he was 16.
But the point of this is not to tell a sob story. The point is I've been there. And, I've gotten through. And I will continue to do so. A big reason people bully is to make themselves feel superior. And it can be for the most petty reasons, like wearing the latest big brand of shoes while you have had the same pair for three years, even though they are perfectly fine and comfortable. Some people just want to cause drama in inappropriate situations. It hurts. It's not easy. There will be days you just want to hide away and cry. But you can't let someone's petty words have power over you. And never stand by while there is physical abuse going on, either.
It helps to have a support group backing you. I have always been blessed with a wonderful family. We'd bend over backwards for each other in a heartbeat. (Most of us, anyway. But, nobody's perfect.) I've had friends that have defended me and encouraged me to go on when I was at my lowest. When I was a teen, my dream was to be an actress. So one of my friends would always tell me that someday my name will be up in lights and everyone who ever teased me would be sorry. These are friendships that not even 2500 miles of separation can diminish. Coworkers (and a boss or two) have come to my defense with a problem I've had with a customer or another coworker. Teachers who were the sole reason I could get up in the morning because they were willing to help me. (Mrs. Good, my 6th grade math teacher, I hope you see this someday. That was meant for you, especially.)
Sometimes, though, there will be situations where you can't rely on anyone else but yourself. Then, you have to defend yourself. I don't mean start a knock-down, drag-out brawl. No, that just leads to more trouble. But, don't let the person mistreating you know they get to you, if possible. And, if they do, speak out! Find a way to tell them you don't like the way you're being treated. If possible, find a way to separate yourself from the person completely. Change classes. Request a different work shift.
I had an incident at work I will share. Without naming names, of course, because I probably have coworkers reading this. Let's call this person "Miss S." She works with me. We have NEVER been on good terms. I have no idea why. I try to follow a drama-free, put up with everyone policy. Anyway, one particular day we knocked heads bad. I did something she felt was wrong and snapped at me. I said nothing. Just went about my business and tried to finish my day. She must have thought I said something under my breath and started getting on my case. I told her to back off. But, she started running her mouth (loud enough for me to hear every word) to another coworker I happen to be friends with. I. Lost. It!
Now, let me be clear. I am usually a quiet, calm, relatively patient person. But one thing about quiet people is we're like volcanoes. All the stress and emotion builds and builds until *BOOM* we snap! That was me.
So, I told Miss S. that I didn't say anything to her and to back off once more. Also, she had no right to talk about me within earshot and in front of customers. It was unprofessional and childish. She was a grown woman, not a girl in junior high. She walked away. I thought she was going to walk over and hit me. But, she stepped into a side hall and ran her mouth to someone else where I couldn't hear.
I finished my shift, ran to my car, and screamed and swore my head off for about 10 minutes before I was levelheaded enough to drive home. But, because I finally stood up to her after enduring years of grief and verbal abuse, I haven't had a problem since. We seem to have adopted an unspoken "I ignore you. You ignore me. We have no problem" type of rule. It's been over a month now.
Does that mean we'll never again have an incident? Likely not. But, now she knows I won't stand for her crap anymore.
The round about moral is words only have power if you let them. You are you. There is no other like you. Even identical twins have their differences. In your own way, you are special and beautiful. Cliche`? Maybe. But it's true.
This is for any younger readers especially. From your preteens on, it's not easy. Your body is still growing and developing in to the woman or man you will be for the rest of your life. One day you feel like a million bucks. Next you don't want to get out of bed. People will try to tell you how to look, how to dress, how to act to fit a particular mold that society has created. "Every girl wants to be like the Kardashians!" Uhm... have you seen how crazy and miserable those girls are? I wouldn't want three of their fortunes to fill their shoes. (They probably wear smaller than a 13 anyway, lol) "Every boy wants to be like... Kyle Busch?" (All names failed me except that one because the race was on today) He is a creep and he plays dirty when he doesn't get what he wants. You'll fall in love. And, unless you're one of the few fortunate souls who find The One on the first time 'round, you'll have your heart broken at least once. You'll have a choice between staying true to yourself and surrendering your values. Anyone who really loves you will accept you for who you are and what you believe. You'll lose and gain friends throughout your whole life. And only those select special few will stick by you no matter what. But it is possible to make it through.
Life isn't all tears and misery. I firmly believe that God doesn't give us more than He thinks we can handle. We may not see it that way all the time but He knows us best because He made us. And, those bad days make the good ones that much more beautiful and special and you learn to appreciate the blessings in your life.
I know complete strangers, as well as friends, read this. If I have helped in any way, I have accomplished my mission of this rambling entry. If you know someone is or suspect they're going through a problem with bullying/harassment, reach out to them. Sometimes people are too proud or embarrassed to say what's wrong. If you are the victim, speak up. There are plenty of organizations designed to help you. As well as people in your own life.
Far too many news stories have involved precious life being taken away, either through suicide or shootings/bombings/insert violent act here. But, it doesn't have to be. If we learn to accept and embrace differences, rather than destroy them our world will be so much better.
Have a great night and thanks for reading. Please leave comments on
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Tomorrow, "A Book I Love" for Day 3
Carey
