Videos Every Thursday!

Hey everyone,
This is going to be brief. Just wanted to make an announcement. I've been working on trying to get regular videos up on my channel on Thursdays. Here is the link. I already have 2 planned. One for tomorrow and one for next week. I may not always film on Thursdays. All depends on my work schedule. But, I have plans and I'll be working on posting them on Thursdays. I even figured out how to schedule videos. I'm so excited to do this. I feel like I've been slacking in the video department and I am sad about that. I have so much fun making videos and sharing my life and my passions for books and writing with you.

Check it out and please subscribe if you like what you see.
Thanks!
~Care

Holiday Shopping Rant

So, while finishing some of my shopping today, I was in my favorite little shop getting some last minute items. It's the Friday before Christmas and there was a long line. I was tired but I dealt with it because I had nowhere to be right away. What I couldn't deal with were the people complaining behind me.
Someone behind me blurts out "These lines are ridiculous. Where are all the workers?" Now, this particular store only has 4 registers. 4 people are working that I could see. One was trying to help all these people and make sure no one gets stupid and 3 are on register trying to get people out as fast as possible. Where do you think? They're working with what they have. It's not like going to some big stores with 150 registers but only 5 cashiers.
Working in retail myself, I guess I have developed a certain tolerance when it comes to certain things. I know that managers can't just schedule however they want. There are certain restrictions if workers are under 18, for example. Or, budget limits them on how many hours they can have per week and they have to divide those hours among available employees. That's not even considering people getting sick and calling off. Or, people who know it's going to be busy and don't feel like showing up. Then, there's a scramble to cover that person and that's like pulling teeth.
And, (Pardon me if I let slip some words. I'm trying to keep it clean) most people in retail bust their asses on a daily basis just to be b*tched at about things beyond their control. Cashiers and clerks do not make the prices. They do not design the store layout. They do not control when and what product gets delivered to the store. They're just there to do their job. Sometimes it's their second or even third job. They have families to support. They don't want to work weekends or holidays. But, they do so they can pay the bills just like everyone else. Under paid, overworked, and, heaven knows, under appreciated.
So, when you are doing your last minute shopping, keep these things in mind while waiting in line. (And this close to Christmas, there WILL be lines so plan accordingly.)
Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. And, be nice to retail workers.
Thanks for reading!
~Care

Story Sneak Peek

This is from my current story. Takes place in the middle of the book. When I originally wrote this, I thought it was missing something. And then, I had a dream and had to capture it in this story. It's only a first draft but I think it turned out pretty sweet.

 

The aching from hunger began to ebb away as time went on and her body adjusted to not eating. She spent most of the day attempting to sleep. She doubted she would have the strength to stand anymore since she remained chained to the cot. She started to sob but there were no more tears left for her to cry.

She may not have been hungry but she was viciously thirsty. Whatever they gave her, she could not get enough of it. It was the one thing sustaining her in this miserable period.

Not long after her arrival, she was unsure of how long time was passing but it was maybe a week if she had to guess, the nightmares began. Not the kind she would occasionally have as a child. She would wake up, call for her mother, and, once she realized she was in her room and safe, everything would be fine. No, these were beyond terrifying. Waking up screaming, crying, clutching the thin blanket to her chest and nearly hyperventilating for at least fifteen minutes.

The worst part about it was, these were memories. Her memories, or at least they seemed like memories. They featured people in her family, members of her father’s council, her brother’s friends. So, they had to be her own memories. And, they were horrible. They started with little things. Her father ignoring her when she wanted to show him a new song she learned on the piano or criticizing a poem she had stayed up half the night writing for her mother’s birthday.

Then, they gradually began to worsen. Her brother and his friends chasing her in the garden and pushing her into a rose bush. Being laughed at by the whole court when she forgot her lines during a court play. Her father and mother criticizing her when she was not successful in her lessons like her brother. “Why can you not be like your brother?” “Thank the Gods, you will not be queen. The nation would be doomed.” The insults and criticisms became gradually worse each time she recalled them in her half sleep. Until it came to the memory she wanted to forget the most. Kneeling before her father, in tears, begging him not to make her marry Duke Scumdart.

“Father, please,” she had cried. “Anyone else but him. Father, if you have any love for me at all, I beg you.”

“Oh, get up, child,” her father demanded. “Why must you create a scene about everything you dislike? The world is not going to end because I wish you to finally be wed.”

“But, Nicholas is older than me and he is not married yet,” she argued. “Why must I and not he?”

“SILENCE!” he shouted. He stood and she shrank back as he stepped toward her, glaring and continuing to shout. “I am your king, first and foremost. It is only by some unhappy accident I am even remotely responsible for your miserable existence. You will do as I say. You will marry the Duke within the month and you will be out of my hair at last. Once you are his wife, you will cease to be my daughter and become merely my subject.”

She turned a pleading gaze to her mother, who sat in the throne next to the king. “Mother?” But, she would not meet the girl’s gaze. “Do as you are told,” was all she said in a blank tone.

Trying to gather whatever dignity she had left, she staggered to her feet and bolted from the room. When she reached her bedchamber, she dismissed her ladies and servants, threw herself on the bed and sobbed.

With each time she woke from one of these nightmare visions, she found the feeling of sadness slowly fading away. For a while, she felt nothing. She, sometimes, did not even scream when she woke. She was merely short of breath from her heart racing at the emotion she recalled at the time. Then, the emptiness began to fill. With pure and utter hatred and loathing. She hated them all. She realized that her life was full of misery and despair. They never loved her. They only acted like they had until she was old enough to be married off and then they could pretend she never existed. She vowed that, if she ever got out of this hell hole they had shoved her in, they would regret everything. They would know her torment and she would be the one standing over them as they begged for the mercy they never gave her.

NaNoWriMo 2015- Day 2

Word Count:
My Total- 4985
Daily Goal- 3334

Oh my gosh. I did so surprisingly well in the word count! When I take my story to work with me I think of my break as a word sprint. By the time I sit down, I have maybe 10 of my 15 minutes left. I set my alarm and just go. I don't know what my count was. Maybe I should keep track tomorrow. Write in another color or something. But, I definitely well exceeded 3,000 words and now I'm so close to 5,000 it's ridiculous! Tomorrow I have work and then I go watch my boyfriend bowl. I'll have to really make sure my phone is charged so I can listen to music. Helps drown out the bowling noises but sometimes it doesn't last the whole 3 or 4 hours we're there. I should have grabbed my iPod while I was at my parents' today... oh well.

Can't wait to see how I do tomorrow!

NaNoWriMo 2015- Day 1

Word Count:
My Total- 2978
Daily Goal- 1667

Wrote the prologue in the wee hours of the morning, taking advantage of the extra hour with Daylight Savings and just finished chapter 1 to put me at a spectacular 1st day lead! So excited! Shutting down now, though. Early day at work and then dinner with my dad. Going to try and write as much as possible before work and on break and when I get home again.

It's been a while...

Wow. Have I really not touched this blog since June? Eeek! This has to change! And, what better time to change that than with the start of yet another NaNoWriMo attempt!

That's right. It's that time again. I will be attempting my 3rd consecutive NaNoWriMo... Well, it's more like a NaNoReWriMo. I am rewriting my 2013 novel that I had lost shortly afterward. This was before I learned the importance of backing up my work in multiple locations. I'm handwriting, tying, saving it on 2 flashdrives, and thinking of posting private blog posts of each chapter.

I do not think I'll be able to do daily videos. I just don't have the filming time anymore and I don't feel comfortable filming when my roommates are home just yet. If I had a private space, then I could set up my camera and do what I wanted. But, for now, I have to wait until no one is home. So, I'll try to post here every day with my word count. There's also my Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. And, there's always my Patreon.

I'll also try to share snippets of my first draft. This month is going to be crazy, as per usual. But, I think I'll be able to succeed again. I'm going to attempt my usual insane goal of before Thanksgiving on the 26th just because I'll be so exhausted with work.

More information to follow!

June 30 Day Writing Challenge- 24

Prompt of the Day-If you have ever been on a diet, write about your experiences with it. If not, make up a story in which you had to go on a diet for medical reasons. What would you have to cut out and how would you cope with those changes?
Source- "1000 Creative Writing Prompts" by Bryan Cohen

I've mentioned my various health issues and this has caused me to adjust the kinds of food I can and can't eat. I should have started it sooner but, after my blood clot last year, I had to go on a low sodium diet. Salt is a tremendous inflammatory. It causes you to retain water as well. You need some salt in your system but too much can be bad and cause high blood pressure. It hasn't been easy. I love peperoni pizza and Chinese take-out food. Both are very salty. When I have too much, my knees swell up and I can hardly walk.

I also have to watch the processed and frozen foods. This means I have to make an attempt at a lot of home cooking. It takes more time but it's worth it so I can move. Some of the things I make I like better and they're kind of fun to make. One of my favorites, and I make it A LOT, is pasta sauce. I get big cans of plain, no salt added tomato sauce. I dump it in a pot and can add whatever seasonings I want. I add garlic, Italian seasonings, black pepper for a kick, and a little sugar to cut the bitterness and acidity. I also found, but have yet to try, a low salt taco seasoning on Pinterest.

I cheat once in a while. Like I said, I like peperoni pizza and Chinese food. Oh, and chicken wings. So, I have to make sure I have the next day off or drink lots of water so I'm not in as much pain.

This is one diet I've managed to get my family to go along with, which helps me a lot. If I have other people with me, it keeps me accountable. I think that's why my soda pop ban has worked so well.

June 30 Day Writing Challenge- 23

Prompt of the Day-Sleep deprivation. It happened during school and it still happens in life. Talk about your attempts to survive on very little sleep and how effective they were/are.
Source- "1000 Creative Writing Prompts" by Bryan Cohen

Every year my family hosts a New Years Eve party. I usually manage to have New Years Day off, even if it means working the night before. It's okay, though, because my store is only open until 9 so I'm usually home before the crazies hit the streets. But, when I first started there, I couldn't get the day off like I wanted. I was scheduled to start at 6 a.m. and get done at 1 p.m. Our guests usually stay well into the night so this was a problem.

I ended up going to bed around 3, but I probably couldn't fall asleep until about 3:30/4:00, which gave me maybe an hour and a half of sleep. At the time, my room was in the basement. At 5:00, my alarm went off and I struggled to get moving. I heard laughter upstairs. I dressed and went into the kitchen to see my sister, her boyfriend and 2 friends, and my mom sitting around the kitchen table playing cards and still drinking.

"That's not fair!" I teased. "You started the real party without me."

My mom offered as a joke to take me to work but, of course, I told her I'd be fine driving myself. I went to work, struggled really hard to get through. I kept messing up transactions and I think my cash drawer was short. I couldn't wait to get done.

Finally, 1:00 arrived and I drove home. Didn't even change out of my work clothes. I lay down on the couch and conked out until my mom woke me up for dinner.

It was one of the hardest days of my life. I don't like being that exhausted and I was scared when I was driving.



Announcement: Keep an eye out on my YouTube channel. Some big news is coming this week!

June 30 Day Writing Challenge- 21

Prompt of the Day-Write a scene that portrays your ideal writing conditions.
Source- "1000 Creative Writing Prompts" by Bryan Cohen

First, sorry for the jump from 18 to 21. I had a busy weekend and could not write. But, I'm still going to try and finish the month out! So, let's get started.

My ideal writing conditions would have to be a nice big office with room for my book shelves so I have lots of inspiration on hand. I want my OWN office. Right now, Boy is really nice and sharing his but I feel like I'm invading his space so whenever we move somewhere else I can have my own space.

I'd need a big desk because I keep lots of handwritten notes as well as hard copies of drafts. I would want a big window that can get light in most of the day. I wouldn't have to turn on any lamps and it would be good filming lighting because I'd want to continue my vlogs. Sometimes I don't want to sit at a desk when I write so a big, comfy chair or a 2 person sofa is a must as well. And, I can't just sit all day. I have to get up and move. So, maybe a treadmill or an exercise bike for when I'm taking breaks or just want to work out for a while. I'd also have a Keurig coffee maker and a small fridge for coffee and goodies and a closet to keep all my craft stuff hidden away for minimal clutter and distraction.

The walls would be pretty filled with book cases so there would be little room for posters except around the desk. I'd have some fandom posters, pictures of my friends and family, and a bulletin board for inspiration. And, of course, I'd have my fandom nik naks that I've collected over the years at conventions and comic book stores. They'd be scattered about the room because being a fangirl has heavily influenced what and how I write. I need all my inspiration surrounding me. And, I like being a great big geek. ^^

Pretty basic. Nothing too extravagant. Just my own space to write and vlog and read. And, the ability to have coffee on hand whenever I want.

Thanks for reading! Tell me about your ideal space?

June 30 Day Writing Challenge- 18

Prompt of the Day-Have you ever feared for your life during an injury or illness? Talk about those feelings... What happened and how did you make a complete recovery?
Source- "1000 Creative Writing Prompts" by Bryan Cohen

Caution: I'm going to try not to get too graphic, but if you have a fear of hospitals or blood, you should probably skip this post.

I've talked many times about my battle with Rheumatoid arthritis and plan on starting a blog devoted to just that. But, last summer, I had the scare of a lifetime. It was mid July and I had been suffering from severe swelling in my right leg. Not just swelling. It was also bright red and warm to the touch. I just thought it was an unusual flare of my RA symptoms. It was kinda hot out, being summer and all, and I just kind of dealt with it. I would be seeing my rheumatologist soon, anyway. I'd just bring it up to her. But, while I was ignoring it, my family was growing more and more worried.

Finally, my mom woke me up early in the morning and said, "I've already called you off work. Either make an appointment or I'm driving you right to the ER." So, I spent the next hour on the phone trying to find a doctor who could admit me. My doctors were either off or full but I managed to find someone at a nearby office and made the earliest possible appointment that day. Mom drove me and he just had to look at my leg and say, "You have a blood clot." O.O A what? Seriously? He quickly sent me for an ultrasound and the radiologist sent him the results immediately. He called me while I was still in the office and told me to go to the Emergency Room. I'd have to be admitted for treatment. Now, I was really scared. Mom called my dad and I texted my sister and boyfriend to fill them in.

The vascular resident came in and told me how bad my situation actually was. The clot ran from below my knee all the way to my abdomen. I had no idea they could get that big! I just thought it was a little blockage like the size of your fingernail at worst. I told him I'd had symptoms for over a week and I was trying to stick it out to see my doctor. He said if I'd have done that, the slightest wrong move could have detached part of it and sent it to my heart or lungs or my brain and I could have died. O.O At age 30! I was absolutely terrified now. They admitted me to a room and put me on bed-rest, thinking I couldn't get into surgery for a couple days. But, then, the surgeon came in and said, "I want to do it today. Just sign for permission." Uh... what? I signed, figuring I could get it over with sooner and on to recovery.

The vascular surgeon was wonderful. He could, obviously, see how scared I was and explained what would be happening. That night they would scope my leg through the back of my knee and run a medication known as a clot buster through my system. This would break up the clot and dissolve some of it for easy removal the next day. It wouldn't be all gone but, with treatment, my body's natural defenses could take care of it in time.

The first surgery took about 4 hours. They also had to put an IV in my neck which, actually, scared me more than the clot. There are a lot of important veins and arteries in your neck and I just don't see why pointy things need to be inserted there. Plus, it was hella uncomfortable. I had hair stuck in the bandaging and I could hardly move my head. They wheeled me back to my ICU room and I was met by my aunts, uncle, 2 cousins, and my sister and her boyfriend. One of my cousins is terrified of hospitals and faints at the sight of blood so I was really happy she came and proud of her. They visited for a while and I had a small dinner because I was starving.

The second surgery next morning they removed some of the clotting. I was still scared so the surgery staff put on a Pandora station for me to focus on to calm me down. That one took about 5 hours. When they were done and cleaned me up a bit, my family was able to come in. My mom was talking to the surgeon so my dad came into the operating room to see me. And, who was right behind him? My boyfriend.

Oh, what a sight he was. And, I was even more grateful the doctors had changed my hospital gown because I had blood around my neck from that stupid IV line and the way I was laying on it. He held my hand all the way back to the room and I found out later that he was pacing the halls while I was in surgery. One of my aunts was there, too, and she went with my parents to get coffee so we could visit alone for a bit. He told me how much I had him worried and made me promise to take better care of myself from now on. "I love you and I want you around for a long time, babe," he said. "I've never been so scared for anyone in my life." I started to cry at this. Not that I felt I was being lectured, but the meaning behind it. I had figured it already but that really confirmed that I had found the man I want to spend my life with. He'd hold me accountable, and he does.

Already long story short, I was able to go home Monday evening. Had to use a walker because of my leg. I was purple from having powerful blood thinners pumped through me and being poked and prodded. Biggest relief was getting that line out of my neck. The doctor took it out and I had to have a sandbag on my neck to keep pressure on the wound. I fell asleep and had my first non-narcotic nap in days.

Treatment going forward required compression stockings when I work and being on blood thinners for the rest of my life. I also have to make a point to move more. Aside from the clot being a side effect from a medication, (I'm no longer taking) sitting at my computer for hours on end didn't help my circulation. So, when I have days off where I can write all day, I set a timer on my phone for every hour. I take 10 minutes and walk around the house, get a light snack, stretch, then I can come back and work some more. Or, I give myself a goal. Edit one chapter, stretch, walk around, then come back and it in the new draft. I also have to be on a low sodium diet and I'm nearly 90 days without soda pop which has helped me lose some weight.

I'm still going to have a risk of clotting for the remainder of my life. That's just how things will be for me now. But, as long as I'm careful and my family and friends keep me honest and accountable, it won't happen again and I'll be around for a long, long time.