A Lost Light

Well, today is going to suck. I'm attending a funeral after work for a former coworker. 25 years old, super sweet young man. He was hard working. He always had a smile and a kind word for anyone he met.
I'm going to copy the Facebook post from his sister on the day he died and post it here before I say more:

Today has been the most devastating day of my life. Today my baby brother died. He was 25. He was a son, a brother, a nurse. He loved to laugh, he loved his patients and he loved his family. As great as he was, he fought with a demon inside of him and lost. That demon was addiction. It started many years ago with a back injury ... pills mostly. Then came the anxiety. Xanax and an alcohol chaser. We saw it coming like a freight train. After pleading with him to get help, he finally did. Rehab, for 28 days. We (his family) attended Nar-Anon meetings to help with our own struggles. On Tuesday he came home. He was changed. For the better perhaps, or just different. "Rehab was the best drug education I could have ever gotten." He joked. Little did we know he wasn't kidding. Today, 36 hours after leaving rehab, he died of a heroin overdose. He learned about heroin, in detail, in rehab. It isn't anyone's fault this happened but his own. I'm not angry. He has become just another a statistic.

I'm sharing this with you because my brother wasn't your typical "junkie". He was a good kid from a good home. He had a family that loved him and a good job. He had great, caring friends that tried to help him with his depression. He had hopes and dreams of a great future. All of that was taken by addiction. If you know of someone struggling with addiction, please find them help. Their life could depend on it. There are "signs". Don't pretend they aren't there or that your loved one will "get better" on their own. They cannot do it on their own. This is a disease. I cannot recommend Nar-Anon meetings highly enough. Find one if you are worried about a loved one. Go. They can and will help you. Tell your loved one you love them. The heroin on the streets today is mixed with all sorts of deadly crap. It kills. Please do not be ashamed. I was. I will not be anymore. Tim and others like him deserve to be able to stand tall and say "My name is Tim, I'm an addict .... and I need help." Please share this message. I have met some wonderful people during this process. Some have made it through .. some have not. I want others to know .... There is Hope.

To those friends and family that have supported us through this tough time, I cannot express my sincerest "Thank You's" enough. Once his final arraignments have been made, I will pass those along.

When I saw the news of this, I wanted to be physically sick. How could this happen to such a sweet guy? With so many evil people in the world, why do the good ones have to suffer like this? All the questions that one would ask during a time like this. It just goes to show how truly fragile life can be.

I think Melissa's post says it all so I'm not going to add much more. I'm going to start crying again if I do. I just wanted to share this with you and, if you or anyone you know is going through a problem with addiction, get help. It is possible. And, if you are blessed to have a healthy family, give them an extra hug tonight. Tim's parents shouldn't have to bury their child tonight. But, he will be remembered as a wonderful and rare light in a world full of darkness.

New Website

Hey guys!
Real quick before I have to head out for the evening. I have a web site! Check it out here. It's hosted through VistaPrint and it's been really easy to put together. I'm slowly getting info up a little every day so I'll keep you all updated. Since I already have 2 blogs, the one on my web site will be strictly book news. Unless it's something I really want to share. Then I'll copy it here as well. Possibly in my RA one as well.

Later!
Carey

My Book is Out At Last!

Here it is! My book! I finally published it! Here's a look at my final cover design for my first book in the Witches of Coolersville series. 140 pages, 2 years of hard work, 1 1/2 years of talking about publishing, and I finally did it. I was going to originally have it out after Easter but I couldn't wait.

I took the leap. After trying and modifying for nearly a week, I did it! I'm so happy that this day has finally arrived.

I'm currently working on my sequel, although it's coming along slower than I'd like. But, now that book 1 is out, I will hopefully have more motivation to work on the next.

Here's the link for the physical book- http://www.amazon.com/Witches-Coolersville-Book/dp/1505607566/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458531235&sr=1-1

Here is the link to the Kindle e-book- http://www.amazon.com/Witches-Coolersville-Book-ebook/dp/B01D81RJ0Q/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458531235&sr=1-2

Fuller House Full Trailer Excitement!

I just saw the full trailer for Fuller House! I linked it so you can check it out for yourself but I am so excited for this show! Almost the entire original cast is returning. Except the Olsens but I don't really care about them. They were sort of annoying with a few exceptions.

You guys don't understand how ridiculously excited I am for this show! I grew up on the original series back in the late 80s/90s. Friday night was TGIF with all those shows. Full House, Family Matters, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Boy Meets World. And, if Boy Meets World can have a spin-off sequel, why can't the others? As I understand it, rumors of this started off as an April Fools joke. But then the cast members started talking about how a reunion would be fun. So, they started this series. It's going to be on Netflix starting on February 26th. And I cannot WAIT!

That's tomorrow, guys! TOMORROW!

They're back on the original set which brought back so many memories. It's even decorated the same as in the 90s.

I just cannot contain my excitement for this show. I'm going to try and watch it tomorrow. If I can't, then maybe Saturday if I'm not to exhausted after the convention. And I'll be sure to let you know what I think.

Bye!
Carey

2015 In Review

Well, I meant to do this as a video but then I went to the Browns game on Sunday and screamed for 4 hours in 30 degree wind and snow and woke up Monday with no voice. So, no filming until I'm over this. What a way to start the new year, huh? But, I have a big mug of tea with about 6 tablespoons of sugar in front of me as I write this and Backstreet Boys on my Pandora station. That instantly made my night 200% better.

Looking back on 2015, one thing I can say is "Where the hell did it go?" Just like I thought this time in 2014. Time just got away from me... again.

Rather than focus on what I didn't get done, I'll talk about what did happen that I am so happy about.
1) My sister got engaged! My little sis isn't so little anymore. She got engaged to her wonderful guy and in October of this year they will be married. They've been together for several years and they make such a great couple. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to make my sister so happy.
2) I moved out! Yep, 31 years old and I finally moved out of Mom and Dad's over the spring/summer. I live with my boyfriend and his brother. The house isn't big but it's enough for the 3 of us. It's been an adjustment for all of us. I have to watch and keep all my "girly stuff" contained. The basement bathroom is mine for makeup and other personal items. I also have to warn the guys when I leave stuff in the washer or dryer.
3) I found my "lost novel" from NaNo 2013 and rewrote it during NaNo 2015. I've still got a lot to go but it's coming along really well and I'm excited to keep going with it. Right now I'm doing a quick reformatting and revision of "Witches of Coolersville" so I can publish that this year.
4) Returned to ComicCon in Columbus. This time Joe and I went with my best friend and her husband. It was so much fun. Robin and I cosplayed this year! I was the 11th Doctor and she was a Shield Agent. I got an autograph from Jason David Frank and even got a photo with him! I was disappointed he wasn't in his Green Ranger costume because that would have been awesome with my cosplay. Living Fan Fiction! *ponders Doctor Who/MMPR fanfic*
5) I filmed a few great videos this year, including 2 with my friend Lisa. We're definitely going to work on more this year.

So, what do I have to look forward to in 2016?

Well, I'll start with my resolution to be healthier. I received a crockpot for Christmas so I've been looking up recipes. I'm also going to get a Planet Fitness membership so I can work out more. I'll probably do that in the next couple weeks. I want to lose at least a size before my sister's wedding and be in shape to dance the night away and not have to lay in bed the next day in pain like when I went to my sister's friend's wedding in July. I'll talk more about that in my RA blog.

End of February is Cleveland ComicCon. Joe and I are planning to go because Matt Smith and Karen Gillan are supposed to be there! *fangirl squeal* I'm going to be very stingy over the next couple months so I can go and afford autographs and photo ops because they're going to be ridiculously expensive. With the exception of getting the 11 dress from Torrid because it is freaking adorable and I want to wear it to the convention! I just hope the weather is okay. Last year was one of the worst snow days of the year. I'm also trying to talk a few friends into going along who are fellow geeks and Whovians. I think they would enjoy themselves.

If I get the week of my birthday off in May, Joe and I are talking about traveling to Cincinnati for a few days. He wants to show me the University where he went to school and we might go see the Indians play the Reds. I've never been to Cincinnati before so it'll be a fun new experience. My sister has been there several times because one of her best friends lives there. So, I think this will be a great trip.

Columbus ComicCon has been moved to July, instead of the fall. I think we're just going to go for a day this year. Going for the weekend has been too much in energy and cost the past couple years. As fun as it is, sometimes you have to step back and do the responsible adult thing.

I've been helping with my sister's wedding plans. We've got her bridal shower in August and the wedding in October! I can't believe she's getting married! I'm still on the hunt for a bridesmaid dress. I'll see what they have available when prom dresses start to go on sale. Hopefully I can find something a little cheaper.

I'm off to take care of this cough and recover my voice. Wishing everyone a healthy, happy new year.

Carey

Videos Every Thursday!

Hey everyone,
This is going to be brief. Just wanted to make an announcement. I've been working on trying to get regular videos up on my channel on Thursdays. Here is the link. I already have 2 planned. One for tomorrow and one for next week. I may not always film on Thursdays. All depends on my work schedule. But, I have plans and I'll be working on posting them on Thursdays. I even figured out how to schedule videos. I'm so excited to do this. I feel like I've been slacking in the video department and I am sad about that. I have so much fun making videos and sharing my life and my passions for books and writing with you.

Check it out and please subscribe if you like what you see.
Thanks!
~Care

Holiday Shopping Rant

So, while finishing some of my shopping today, I was in my favorite little shop getting some last minute items. It's the Friday before Christmas and there was a long line. I was tired but I dealt with it because I had nowhere to be right away. What I couldn't deal with were the people complaining behind me.
Someone behind me blurts out "These lines are ridiculous. Where are all the workers?" Now, this particular store only has 4 registers. 4 people are working that I could see. One was trying to help all these people and make sure no one gets stupid and 3 are on register trying to get people out as fast as possible. Where do you think? They're working with what they have. It's not like going to some big stores with 150 registers but only 5 cashiers.
Working in retail myself, I guess I have developed a certain tolerance when it comes to certain things. I know that managers can't just schedule however they want. There are certain restrictions if workers are under 18, for example. Or, budget limits them on how many hours they can have per week and they have to divide those hours among available employees. That's not even considering people getting sick and calling off. Or, people who know it's going to be busy and don't feel like showing up. Then, there's a scramble to cover that person and that's like pulling teeth.
And, (Pardon me if I let slip some words. I'm trying to keep it clean) most people in retail bust their asses on a daily basis just to be b*tched at about things beyond their control. Cashiers and clerks do not make the prices. They do not design the store layout. They do not control when and what product gets delivered to the store. They're just there to do their job. Sometimes it's their second or even third job. They have families to support. They don't want to work weekends or holidays. But, they do so they can pay the bills just like everyone else. Under paid, overworked, and, heaven knows, under appreciated.
So, when you are doing your last minute shopping, keep these things in mind while waiting in line. (And this close to Christmas, there WILL be lines so plan accordingly.)
Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. And, be nice to retail workers.
Thanks for reading!
~Care

Story Sneak Peek

This is from my current story. Takes place in the middle of the book. When I originally wrote this, I thought it was missing something. And then, I had a dream and had to capture it in this story. It's only a first draft but I think it turned out pretty sweet.

 

The aching from hunger began to ebb away as time went on and her body adjusted to not eating. She spent most of the day attempting to sleep. She doubted she would have the strength to stand anymore since she remained chained to the cot. She started to sob but there were no more tears left for her to cry.

She may not have been hungry but she was viciously thirsty. Whatever they gave her, she could not get enough of it. It was the one thing sustaining her in this miserable period.

Not long after her arrival, she was unsure of how long time was passing but it was maybe a week if she had to guess, the nightmares began. Not the kind she would occasionally have as a child. She would wake up, call for her mother, and, once she realized she was in her room and safe, everything would be fine. No, these were beyond terrifying. Waking up screaming, crying, clutching the thin blanket to her chest and nearly hyperventilating for at least fifteen minutes.

The worst part about it was, these were memories. Her memories, or at least they seemed like memories. They featured people in her family, members of her father’s council, her brother’s friends. So, they had to be her own memories. And, they were horrible. They started with little things. Her father ignoring her when she wanted to show him a new song she learned on the piano or criticizing a poem she had stayed up half the night writing for her mother’s birthday.

Then, they gradually began to worsen. Her brother and his friends chasing her in the garden and pushing her into a rose bush. Being laughed at by the whole court when she forgot her lines during a court play. Her father and mother criticizing her when she was not successful in her lessons like her brother. “Why can you not be like your brother?” “Thank the Gods, you will not be queen. The nation would be doomed.” The insults and criticisms became gradually worse each time she recalled them in her half sleep. Until it came to the memory she wanted to forget the most. Kneeling before her father, in tears, begging him not to make her marry Duke Scumdart.

“Father, please,” she had cried. “Anyone else but him. Father, if you have any love for me at all, I beg you.”

“Oh, get up, child,” her father demanded. “Why must you create a scene about everything you dislike? The world is not going to end because I wish you to finally be wed.”

“But, Nicholas is older than me and he is not married yet,” she argued. “Why must I and not he?”

“SILENCE!” he shouted. He stood and she shrank back as he stepped toward her, glaring and continuing to shout. “I am your king, first and foremost. It is only by some unhappy accident I am even remotely responsible for your miserable existence. You will do as I say. You will marry the Duke within the month and you will be out of my hair at last. Once you are his wife, you will cease to be my daughter and become merely my subject.”

She turned a pleading gaze to her mother, who sat in the throne next to the king. “Mother?” But, she would not meet the girl’s gaze. “Do as you are told,” was all she said in a blank tone.

Trying to gather whatever dignity she had left, she staggered to her feet and bolted from the room. When she reached her bedchamber, she dismissed her ladies and servants, threw herself on the bed and sobbed.

With each time she woke from one of these nightmare visions, she found the feeling of sadness slowly fading away. For a while, she felt nothing. She, sometimes, did not even scream when she woke. She was merely short of breath from her heart racing at the emotion she recalled at the time. Then, the emptiness began to fill. With pure and utter hatred and loathing. She hated them all. She realized that her life was full of misery and despair. They never loved her. They only acted like they had until she was old enough to be married off and then they could pretend she never existed. She vowed that, if she ever got out of this hell hole they had shoved her in, they would regret everything. They would know her torment and she would be the one standing over them as they begged for the mercy they never gave her.

NaNoWriMo 2015- Day 2

Word Count:
My Total- 4985
Daily Goal- 3334

Oh my gosh. I did so surprisingly well in the word count! When I take my story to work with me I think of my break as a word sprint. By the time I sit down, I have maybe 10 of my 15 minutes left. I set my alarm and just go. I don't know what my count was. Maybe I should keep track tomorrow. Write in another color or something. But, I definitely well exceeded 3,000 words and now I'm so close to 5,000 it's ridiculous! Tomorrow I have work and then I go watch my boyfriend bowl. I'll have to really make sure my phone is charged so I can listen to music. Helps drown out the bowling noises but sometimes it doesn't last the whole 3 or 4 hours we're there. I should have grabbed my iPod while I was at my parents' today... oh well.

Can't wait to see how I do tomorrow!

NaNoWriMo 2015- Day 1

Word Count:
My Total- 2978
Daily Goal- 1667

Wrote the prologue in the wee hours of the morning, taking advantage of the extra hour with Daylight Savings and just finished chapter 1 to put me at a spectacular 1st day lead! So excited! Shutting down now, though. Early day at work and then dinner with my dad. Going to try and write as much as possible before work and on break and when I get home again.